Well. Some of them are great. Some of them are just batshit crazy. We were undecided about the direction we wanted to go with this, so we just squashed it all together for funsies.
1. Gallium, just because.
There is absolutely no practical purpose to this gift, except to watch metal melt in your hand. And if that isn’t a ridiculously cool present, then we just don’t even know you anymore.
2. Someone needs this.
Credit: ThinkGeek
We are not sure who, because frankly, you might never get laid again if you hang out in this. But surely, someone, somewhere in this vast and complicated and ridiculous universe will lounge comfortable in their fandom. Fine, you’re right, it’s me. I would wear the shit out of this onesie.
3. Yet, I would still draw the line at these.
And trust me, so will whoever just popped in to your mind when you thought this was an actual recommendation. These are not a thing. Really.
4. In fact, we’d normally tell you to avoid all things Etsy, except we are kind of in love with these tiny velociraptor studs by huiyitan.
5. Everyone you know wants this. Always. EVER. It’s a 3D pen. Go buy it now.
6. Does your favorite science geek sometimes veer over into collecting geekery? Then perhaps they need a way to display their collectables in the coolest way possible: hovering.
Okay – fine, so it’s really just magnets, but you can tell your dumb friends that it’s magic.
You might want to weigh that prize collectible first though. The platform can only hold about 12 ounces before the illusion is shattered.
7. Or you could go all in on the stupid.
Obvious downside: Where exactly is the appropriate place to locate a painting of Ronald Reagan riding a Velociraptor?
8. If you were looking for a more traditional gift, we’ve found just the watch for you: The Higgs Boson Watch
Not only does it look cool, the spinning second hand is actually illustrating the decay of the Higgs Boson into other particles. Perfect for your particle physicist. Or, really anyone. It’s freakin’ awesome.
9. Actually, we’re really lucky we found that, because we were going to recommend this:
Except that would be insane. Seriously. Where is anyone going to put crocheted almost mold, in a sure as shootin’ genuwine petri dish? WHERE? Luckily, this enterprising entrepreneur also makes crocheted mould broaches. You know who would love that? Apparently everyone’s aunts. Fuzzy broaches are totally an auntie thing. SEE! We’re HELPING. IDEAS.
10. The best part of presents is that you can play with them and so clearly the best gift ever is the LEGO Research Institute.
Science and playing! Fine, some of you may think this is for your aspiring scientist, rather than a fully grown one, but whatevs – some of us can appreciate LEGO more fully than others.
Shhh – it’s a SECRET BONUS EXTRA IDEA!
11. And just in case you have a spare four hundred bucks floating around that you’re dying to spend on the most awesome geek gift, and don’t mind that it will be obsolete almost immediately, buy your geek a 3D printer. Tom’s Hardware recommends Printrbot and who are we to disagree with Tom? He’s steered us well since we were just babes in the woods.
