Lorne Michaels' Stalker: Funny or Die

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A New York criminal court has upheld a stalking charge against a man who contacted Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels on several occasions to discuss the show’s alleged use of the man’s “personal thoughts” and “sense of humor” without permission. Court documents report that the stalker, Evans Pidhajecky, “appear[ed] at the producer’s home twice in December 2007, had ‘no …

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The Cravath System at Work

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Former Cravath superlawyer and convicted sex perv James Colliton is now suing American Express for millions of dollars for revealing his location to authorities in 2006 while he was hiding and on the run from charges that he paid a woman to have sex with her 13- and 15-year-old daughters. In his suit, the so-called “Lolita Lawyer” claims that Canadian …

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Christian Bale: There Is Such a Thing As Bad Publicity

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Concerned that the deluge of press praising co-star Heath Ledger’s performance in the record-breaking mega-hit “The Dark Night” was overshadowing his own role in the film, Christian Bale took it upon himself to prove to the world that he can play a deranged criminal just as convincingly as Ledger.  Against the advice of his agent and publicist, Bale allegedly assaulted …

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Bush Declines Olympian’s Carpool Request

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Marion Jones, the three-time Olympic gold medalist sentenced in January to six months in prison for lying to the feds about her steroid use and a multimillion-dollar check fraud scam, has asked President Bush to commute her sentence. Inside sources at the White House have reported that while the President initially commended Jones for her efforts to conserve gas in …

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Law School for Sale: I’ll Buy It

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Sources in Orange County, California, are reporting that the O.C.’s first law school, Western State University College of Law, was actually sold on Wednesday to Swiss education company Knowledge Investment Partners. The actual sale price remains unconfirmed, but reports state that the final amount was “between $5 million and $10 million.” When asked for comment on whether the sale might …

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Even the Nudists Don’t Want Him

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Gons Nachman, a 42-year-old lawyer and practicing nudist who was recently convicted of having sex with teenage girls while serving as a diplomat in the Congo and Brazil, is asking a judge for leniency, arguing that “cultural differences in those countries make sex with girls more acceptable.” In pleading with officials to recognize his view that not having sex with …

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Ashley Dupre: Fourteen Minutes and Counting…

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Amber Arpaio, a 26-year-old Jersey girl, is suing hooker-to-the-sort-of-stars Ashley Dupre and a whole bunch of other folks for allegedly stealing her identity and sullying her good name. Arpaio, who works in a dental office, claims that Dupre “somehow” stole her driver’s license in 2003 to convince Girls Gone Wild producers that she was old enough to be filmed and …

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Barenaked Dummy

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Word hit the streets yesterday that Steven Page, the lead singer of the Barenaked Ladies, is planning to fight the recent cocaine charge he racked up last week when he was arrested in an apartment in upstate New York and charged with possession of a controlled substance. When asked about the powdery white substance in his possession, court documents report …

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