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Bitter News, 4-17-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views 1 Comment

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that set records like how Ashton killed the CNN TV star: Frank Scudere can call himself husband, father, plane-that-landed-in-the-Hudson-River survivor, and now: Laid-off lawyer.  Skadden cut the strings on his “staff attorney” status, which was originally scheduled for the day after he plunged into the river on US Air Flight 1549, but it was …

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Bitter Factoids 9

Bitter Staff Columns, Lawyer 10 Comments

Actress Marlo Thomas once said, “Never face facts; if you do, you’ll never get up in the morning.” Thespians may have that luxury, but we’re pretty sure lawyers don’t. 26 Number of American law schools that offer an LLM in taxation. 146 Number of legal layoffs that have occurred on a Saturday since Law Shucks began tracking downsizing late last …

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Bitter News, 4-16-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that will still be around long after John Madden: On May 13, a judge will decide whether to approve $55.1 million in fees for 490 Weil, Gotshal & Manges attorneys who, in 138 days, billed 100,000 hours (795 of them accounted to partner Harvey R. Miller at a rate of $950) as advisers in …

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Five Steps to Being a Plaintiff Lawyer Machine

PhilaLawyer Columns, Lawyer 22 Comments

Laid off from Biglaw?  We know, it’s horrible. The profession has been turned on its head.  All that money, that schooling. All the years of suffering those hoards of social invalids and Napoleons in your firm.  And now you’re in the poor house. Or maybe not… You can wallow in self-pity, groveling for scraps as a “temp” slave or toiling …

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Bitter News, 4-15-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as broken as the National Maximum Speed Limit Law: If they spit, you must acquit.  An Orange County DA dismisses drug charges if defendants provide a DNA sample.  [ABA Journal] In an effort to minimize the default rate on law school loans, Northwestern Law is offering an option to postpone payments back to the …

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The Keys to My Kingdom

Matthew Richardson Columns, Lawyer 27 Comments

I was drunk.  I was horny.  And I was figuratively charming the pants off of Alicia, a second-year associate who I would consider hot by the standards of our aesthetically challenged profession.  I even convinced the Partner to come hang out (read: open up a tab) after we finished our closing dinner with the client.  Alicia and I made out …

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Bitter News, 4-14-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, reminding you to not be like William Wallace; sign a prenup: In bad-hair and bad-courtroom news, after two trials Wall of Sound and wall-of-hair music producer Phil Spector was found guilty of murder yesterday, and coiffed former governor Blagojevich plead not guilty today, but no one’s offering him any defense coupons. [E! Online | …

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Bitter News, 4-13-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as surprising as Hannah Montana: BigLaw layoffs have now served over 10,000 customers.  The five-digit threshold has been crossed.  [Lawshucks] Get all of your stupid f-ing lawyer jokes out of our system now because tomorrow is National Be Kind to Lawyers Day—or N.B.K.T.L.—when the all-lawyer lovefest gang bang commences.  [Fox Business] Going from the …

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