1. Latisse
Luscious, beautiful lashes. A dream come true for eyelash-impaired people who that want that kind of thing. But, when you read the fine print, you have to wonder are the risks of Latisse worth it? Seriously. If you have itching, burning, swollen eyes those compliments on your fantabulous new eyelashes might fall a bit flat. Not to mention, if you’re suddenly afflicted with vaguely described “vision problems” it’s going to be hard to really appreciate your coquettish lash fluttering.1
2. Lyrica
We’re pretty sure this video has nothing to do with Lyrica the drug except for the shared title. But how could we resist?
Lyrica is apparently a miracle cure. It’s been advertised as the savior for fibromyalgia patients, restless leg sufferers, the solution for diabetics afflicted with nerve pain and any number of other ailments. In fact, it was just that overambitious off label recommendation that resulted in Pfizer reaching a $43 million dollar settlement agreement. But, while Lyrica may be effective (although this too seems up for some conversation2) the risks are kind of insane: if the advertisement began by telling you that there was a chance you’d have trouble breathing, talking and could possibly suffer from the “Loss of One’s Own Sense of Reality or Identity” you might find fewer people seeking these medications out.3
3. Alli
Credit: Alli
This weight loss drug is pretty tempting on first glance. Eat everything you want, because Alli will block enzymes from digesting fat and then you’ll just let nature take its course. And for some, it may be a great fit. For others, they stopped using it and it was taken off the market because they forgot to make the bottle tamper proof. But either way, poor bowel control as a “common symptom” should probably be the first line in their commercial, not a footnote in small print.
4. Asclera
Credit: Asclera
Asclera has recently been approved to treat minor varicose veins. With the caveat that it may cause blood clots in your lungs, cause a create stoppage of the heart and/or bring on a life threatening allergic reaction. ZOMG, it’s like a BOGO sale!4
5. Tami Flu
The “awesome” flu drug that I swear to god, lists every possible symptom of the flu in its side effects. Don’t believe me, look for yourself. Oh, and also, you could maybe get Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis, which is pretty much just as awful as the name sounds: your top layer of skin detaches from the lower layers, and then you get sepsis and probably die. Like 25% of the time. So, good odds.5
In an ideal world, the answer to this would be discuss not your solution, but your symptoms with an incredible, empathetic, long-term doctor who would then find you a solution. Since that isn’t actually a thing for a lot of people, our best advice: keep in mind the teevee also tells you this is awesome:
[Featured image via Shutterstock]