5 Prison Tats For Crim Law Lawyers

Han Bitter Solo Columns, Lawyer 2 Comments

Tattoos and lawyers have been a long held debate here at Bitter Lawyer. Many claim that visible tats will hurt your career prospects. Some claim that having ink will display your uniqueness to the firm. Personally, I believe it depends on your practice area. If you practice in tax law it might be better that you don’t imbibe in the ink. If you are a divorce lawyer, perhaps a broken heart on your arm will attract clients. However, I think we can all agree that Criminal law attorneys should be required to obtain prison tattoos in order to practice. Call it a badge of honor, call it a marketing ploy. Nonetheless, Bitter Lawyer presents the 5 prison tattoos a Crim lawyer must have.

  1. Barbed Wire Tattoo

    • Location: Arm for the Males; Ankle/Arm for the Ladies
    • Pros: The barbwire tat is one of the more popular styles so you won’t be a social outcast. Moreover, it is a good way to push through plea deals by simply rolling up your sleeve and reminding your client that if they don’t take this deal they will be sitting behind barbwire for years.
    • Cons: You will look like a reject Real World cast member.
  2. Scales of Justice

    • Location: Chest/Shoulder
    • Pros: The ultimate business tattoo. If Kevin Durant was an attorney he would have this ink. It shows your clients that you are devoted to the practice of law.
    • Cons: The scales of justice are never even. A constant reminder to your client that they may lose and spend time behind bars.
  3. Law Firm Logo

    • Location: Entire Back
    • Pros: Great for the attorney who works at Sons of Anarchy LLC. True dedication to the firm and great marketing.
    • Cons: Wait until you are a partner until you get this tattoo. Big Law is still laying off in droves nowadays. Having three old dude’s names tattooed on your back will hurt your chances with the ladies/fellas. Also, leather jackets are not exactly courtroom attire.
  4. Gang Symbol Tattoo

    • Location: Neck
    • Pros: This tattoo will provide an endless stream of business if your specific gang is in your practice area. You may learn how to launder money like Saul Goodman. Depending on your gang you may be able to be called a consigliere. Also you may learn how to Crip Walk.
    • Cons: You may get shived while visiting a client in jail.
  5. Gavel Tear Drops

    • Location: Face
    • Pros: An absolute must for lawyers who try capital cases. You are basically a walking advertisement for your firm. The teardrop tat is allegedly inked to represent kills made by the individual. I propose the Gavel Tear Drop tattoo be placed on the attorney’s face for every murder trial he has received an acquittal.
    • Cons: Absolutely none. This is a badass tattoo.

Post image courtesy of Shutterstock.

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  • billym

    “shived”? LOL your attempt at prison lingo is a fail

  • joe welch

    Great article – I have 4 criminal defense tattoos – the Sixth Amendment, lady justice, Alexander Solzhenitsyn’s prisoner number, and Bill Kunstler.