9 New Year’s Resolutions Lawyers Should Not Make

Grey Bitter Columns, Featured Lawyer, Lawyer 4 Comments


We all like to do the New Years resolutions thing, but let’s face it, there some resolutions that we, as lawyers, simply shouldn’t make. They’re a waste of time. Let’s just get them out in the open and save everyone a lot of heartburn:

1. I will stop procrastinating.

2. I will do a better job of tracking my hours. I might even buy an app for my phone that will assist me in this resolution.

3. I will stop drinking every night.

4. I will start exercising.

5. I will volunteer for that legal aid society thingy.

6. I will stop giving work to the hot paralegal/associate simply because he/she is hot.

7. I will start writing that brilliant novel that I know is in me.

I realize this post called for  9 resolutions, but I waited too long to write it and now I’m past my deadline.

Post image via Shutterstock.


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  • Broc

    I resolve not to buy a broad dinner unless I am assured of getting sex.

    • Hank

      Broc is right on a number of levels. Although not politically correct, in these days of women’s rights, a woman should not accept a nice dinner from a guy, especially if she is gainfully employed, without having to provide the guy with dessert, and if the guy wants sexual dessert, the woman should be cognizant of this issue up front, and should not claim surprise after she has had surf and turf. Once she partakes in such niceties, she should not be heard to complain later when the guy wants to exercise off some of the calories with her.

  • Alex Kleanthous

    How about the one resolving to work as a team with all colleagues and not being protective and defensive over a client. This is something that many lawyers still don ‘t get and which is vital for the success of a firm i.e cross selling.

  • Bill

    Agree. Too many guys wind up taking out dumpy women and spending money thinking that sex will be a sure thing, only to find out these women clamp their knees together at the end of the evening and the guys are left holding their own nuts. If the guys know this up front, then they’d try for decent women, and if they fail, at least they’d be out with them rather than the dumpy ones who don’t put out anyway. There should be a rule. Don’t accept a meal if you’re not willing to put out afterward. Simple.