Editor’s note, 12/8/16: When Mr. Horton wrote this in April we laughed. We’re re-posting this now, because satire has become reality.
On Saturday night, somewhere in South Carolina, Donald J. Trump became the 45th President of the United States. And he did it with all the triumphalism, arrogance and crotch-thrusting vulgarity of a Van Halen video. It was a good night for him.
It was dark for the others. Credits finally rolled on Jeb Bush’s Alexander Payne movie of a campaign. And he was one of the lucky ones. At least he saw the road he was traveling down and turned around. Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz still think they’re running for president somehow, and even worse, they believe they’ll win by killing each other. And the poor Democrats, meanwhile, are mired in a Civil War they cannot resolve in time for the election. So Donald Trump has essentially become president by default. But what will that presidency even look like? It’s impossible to visualize. Easy to talk about, hard to picture.
But I can fix that. Late last night, I took the liberty of asking Twitter for Donald Trump’s future archives, after he loses his verified check following one too many TOS violations, after he crosses the T’s and dots the I’s and officially becomes President in November. Let’s take a look.