Hello!
My goodness, do we have a show ahead this week. There’s some old-school Top Model cray, some egregious behavior, and lots of empowering young women. Ha, ha! No, not that last one. Even though the Top Model producers have clearly decided to hit their young women–gay men audience sweet spot, for some reason that means showing lots of male chest and throwing young women and their life prospects straight down a hole. Could we get Amy Poehler to consult over there or something?
OK, so we’re right back to last week’s shipping container hellscape with Miss J. and the NEXT model management guy, who for some reason came dressed as a pretend Mafia don.
The deal is that the models will walk a clear runway four stories high over a gap between shipping containers. We’re pretending that people might fall, but there is a giant harness involved, so stop rooting for the wind to gust.
The deal is that there’s a runway, and then a gap, and then another stack of shipping containers where Miss J and Non Corleone will be waiting. The models who are finalists will be carried over the gap by their harness mechanism, while those who have been cut will be dropped – and by “dropped,” we mean “slowly and gently lowered” – to the ground.
(And yes, of course this high-wire hanging and dropping is an obvious parallel to the legendary rope-dangling escape down a perilous hillside with the mysterious Cathar treasure the night before the Catholic army attacked. Keep the flame, Tyra. Keep the flame.)
Devin reminds us again that he is signed to six agencies around the world (Could you name those agencies, Devin?), but what he wants is to be a power household model, so he says he’s not going home.
Cosa Not-ra says this is also a challenge and he’ll be watching, so step it up. (Also: Why does NEXT model management use the all-caps like that? It makes it sound like they’re expecting all their models to be rejected immediately. “Hi. I’m Stormee, and here’s my portfol–” “NEXT!”)
Bello says he gave up everything to be here, and he knows Devin is fake and Bello officially wants him to go home. We cut back to Bello’s ill-advised “Who the hell do you think you are?” confrontation from last week.
Mikey is doing some odd coaching of the other models as though he’s done a bunch of modeling on high wires before. He reminds us that growing up, his dad went to prison and his mom worked two jobs to support him, so even though he’s nervous, this is his chance to build his career and support his family. This will be the last point at which you like Mikey this episode, so go ahead and savor it.
Courtney is getting razzed by Mikey. He tells her to eat something, which could be really sweet or, you know, the knife edge of a creepy control campaign. Oh, shit, Courtney reminds us that she was bullied throughout high school, in part because of her weight, and is not used to having friends or being cared about. DANGER. Somebody get her away from Mikey. She thinks he will be a good friend. Oh, no.
Jesus H. Christ in a dirigible. The models will be wearing clothing by a man who is called – they actually put this up on the screen like this like it is a normal human thing to call yourself – Eric “Mister Triple X” Rosete.
I am done with him. He is gone from my mind like the dodo is from this world. Notice how “Dodo” is still a more adult, dignified thing to insist on being called than “Mister Triple X”? Also: Who made the decision to spell out “Mister”?
We learn that the women, and only the women, will be wearing shoes by Miss J. Alexander! And, really, I am delighted for Miss J. and that could not be a more natural fit for a product line, but when it’s an exposed catwalk four stories up, that is some serious bullpuckey. Will the boys be wearing suction cups on their feet to make it even more fair?
All the ladies act delighted, even though this is a serious disadvantage. No time to think about that, though! Miss J. is doing what she does best, which is coach people on their runway walks. A pity we don’t have more than a few seconds of it.
We see a split shot of Delanie and Larissa – modeling Jehosephat, have we even seen her before? – and Delanie says Miss J.’s shoes are amazing.
Maleesa reiterates that she is the shortest model here today, but she’s feeling confident. And she says that even if she goes home, she’s totally ganking herself those Miss J. shoes. It’s good to see a lady who thinks ahead.
The boys get their runway tutorial and Devin says he killed it. Bello interviews that Devin is here with everyone else because his career hasn’t taken off either, so there. These two are what reality show producers put on their vision boards.
Miss J. reminds the boys that walking on a runway that is quite close to the ground is easy, but way up in the air, god help you. Also that harness. The models do a pregame hug.
Mamé – the only one we’ve seen do this – points out that this is a two-foot-wide runway, but the the girls are in heels. She doesn’t say the words “This is bullshit,” but you can see them forming over and over as she bats them away with her tongue. She says other people start freaking out just from the height alone, but for some reason there isn’t any real footage of that.
It is, in fact, quite a long drop. Dustin is freaking out a little and says the harness is pulling him while he’s trying to walk. What happens – and it looks like Dustin has to find out on his own? – is that when you hit the end, the cable pulls you in the air and you have to pose right there while you’re dangling. Miss J. tells Dustin to keep it very modelesque. Dustin doesn’t seem to do much of anything in the way of posing except for swinging his legs while keeping his face still, but he makes it.
Lacey says that going home would rip her heart in half. She sultries in mid-air and makes it.
OK, already I am so tired of this fiction. What’s actually happening is that the cuts have long been made, and the mid-air posing is for this week’s challenge score.
What the show keeps trying to suggest is that the cuts haven’t been made, and that the models are posing for their lives in mid-air at that very moment and someone – Miss J? The mechanical harness operator? The Modfather? – is making split-second decisions about who’s getting cut and who stays. Which is patently ridiculous, because we have been informed eighteen thousand times that there will be a Final 14. I’m not saying the show shouldn’t treat the audience like we’re stupid; just not like we’re that stupid.
Mamé makes Miss J. very happy. She poses well in mid-air. She swoops gracefully across and slow-motion walks like she’s been Peter Panning it her whole life.
Damn. Hadassah accurately pegs Mamé – a fellow pageant girl – as her biggest competition. Or at least her most direct competition. Hadassah thinks Mamé is overly confident. Hadassah may be a bit prone to projection.
Bryant says he can’t go home because he gave up “a full ride to a big private college” to be here. Bryant, true to his inner douche, chooses The Fuckboy as his mid-air pose.
Stefano says that Bryant is probably his biggest competition, probably since they are both such complete toolbags that they have extra drill bits tucked into their ears. Also, Stefano deems himself and Bryant the handsomest. (See?) Anyway, nice work, producers. Other than Team Virgin, those rivalry duos are really chugging along.
We come back from commercial break to see Bryant still dangling. And then he gets a full ride to a big private patch of dirt. Miss J yells “I don’t see the fierceness!” in a desperate, futile attempt to make us think that Bryant got cut right then, but fortunately some exciting music gets us all past it. Bryant gives the ASL sign for “I love you” as he is gently lowered to the ground. The other models are shocked. Douchebag down! Bryant says he’ll find another passion.
Mamé says Justin is super attractive, but they’re just friends. Justin makes it and Mamé is radiantly happy. Aww, you guys, they’re in pre-lurve.
Nyle feels pressure to represent the entire deaf community. In spite of the fact that the show has been featuring Nyle’s chest multiple times per episode, the NEXT guy says Nyle needs to work on his body “so it can speak for him.” Ugh. Thanks, Wouldfella.
The mysterious Larissa totally proves my point by looking amazing in her swoop and getting doinked down to the ground anyway. Miss J has the nerve to act surprised. We see a tiny shot of Ava being sad, reminding us that these dark matter contestants touched people’s lives in their brief time on the show.
We see Gage getting dropped without even seeing him walk or pose. At the bottom, Larissa congratulates him on all the screen time he had.
Devin is freaking out because Devin. Stefano, Ashley, Hadassah make it. Delanie makes it.
Bello is up! Devin crosses himself and his fingers for Bello to go home. Bello makes it because his picture rocked last week and there is no way the producers are going to kill a goose that lays so many shiny, golden, crazy eggs. The show still, by the way, has not settled on how to pronounce his name. Half of the people say “BEY-yo,” and half the people say “BEY-zho.” Surely this is a question that could have been asked and answered? God, I hope he’s just telling different people different pronunciations when they ask him.
Miguel drops because we haven’t seen him since like 1978.
Maleesa poses well, but she’s down! She’s the other short person, so it looks like we have some inspiring tall-or-small slogans to scrub off the walls.
I do love that these cuts are being made with no real explanation whatsoever. This is some old-school ANTM cruel-hand-of-Fate magic. Ava makes it.
Oh, for chrissakes. We’re pretending that India’s mid-air freakout just killed it for her, but we all knew India wasn’t getting in because the moments she’s been on camera have been so quick that they can only be perceived subliminally. She freaks out and cries the whole way down.
Way to go out memorably, at least. The other grounded models give her a hug.
Mikey again says he’s doing it for the family. Miss J. scolds Mikey for just hanging there and doing nothing, and it looks like he’s about to get dropped, but then at the last minute, Mikey… Still does nothing but hang there.
He makes it. Mikey tearfully says he never gave up. Um.
Courtney thinks it would be crazy to make it, and she does! That makes Dallas and Devin the last two. Bello is rooting for Dallas to make it across because Devin. Dallas pumps his legs like he’s treading water in a mighty whirlpool, but it’s all for naught. Dallas goes down, and all the treading in the world won’t help.
So… That’s 13 out of a final 14 in, and only Devin is left. Whatever will happen? Miss J., hoping we have all recently been clonked on the head with sturdy rubber mallets, calls out that Devin’s spot is not guaranteed, and that they may just go with a final 13.
Can you handle the tension? The producers have wisely chosen Devin to go last, because he is the most likely one to not be able to handle the tension. Devin mid-air poses and keeps licking his thumb in a sexay fashion and runs with all his might, and duh, he’s in.
Devin is thrilled. Bello is not.
Back on the ground, Tyra is here! We see the Final 14’s faux-naked shots for the intro.
Tyra says she’s glad the models did this crazy runway walk and is coy about when she will see them again. For now, they will celebrate! Tyra is still making everyone do those hand gestures.
Back at the Model House, we learn that Mamé and Lacey are numbers one and two in the challenge. Whoa! That would be Mamé’s second night in the Tyra Suite! I wonder who will join her, since India is gone… Or was she ever there? Lacey says she’s jealous of Mamé’s win and jokes that she’d been hoping Mamé would burst into flames.
Bello and Devin are together at the bottom of the challenge scores. Heh.
Devin is bummed about his low challenge score. He says that if he got eliminated really early, he’d have to reevaluate his modeling skills. The models pour toasts, some of them drinking champagne in water glasses, and some of them drinking blue cans with tape on them.
Bello hits the confessional while drunk off his ass, which is just as good a decision as it has always been. Bello can’t pronounce much, but does call Devin “Devil,” which is some delightful fighting fodder. Bello is extremely pissed in both the British and American senses of the word. He grabs a giant teddy bear and crashes out of frame to go to bed.
Morning!
Yu Tsai and the model bus arrive. Time for a photo shoot! Erik Asla will be shooting the models again. What happened that they no longer have a new photographer every week? Is this a solidarity-with-Nigel-Barker thing? I’m not going to bother to look it up, but I hope so.
This week’s session will be a beauty shot to showcase their beautiful and amazing features. Yu Tsai says they’re also going to be paired up and bound. (Don’t worry if you’re planning to watch the show with family members; you have seen sexier bondage on bunches of asparagus.) The models cheer! Let’s pair up and find out what long, windy things will be on us!
Lacey and Bello: Chains!
Hadassah and Dustin: Skinny belts. You heard me.
Justin and Mamé (Eeee! The producers have been paying attention!): Computer cords. Justin says that since it’s Mamé, he’s going to bring it twice as hard. I bet he is.
Courtney and Mikey: Hair. Ew.
Mikey says that Courtney is a great model with strong features who knows how to work the camera, but he doesn’t know if she can bring it. While she’s bringing it, she should maybe bring an airsickness bag.
Yes, that’s only five pairings. Goddammit, show.
But before we rush off to hair and makeup, someone wants to talk to the models about their necks. It’s a producer threatening to slit their goddamned throats if they so much as breathe a word about the existence of Larissa, India, and Gage. No, wait: It’s Tyra! This was the big secret moment when they’d meet again?
OK, it’s time for what every other speaker of the English language on the planet calls a lesson, but Tyra insists on calling a “teach.” I find it fascinating because the only reason in the world for coining the new term is to take the focus off the students and put it right back on Tyra.
Tyra says she wants to talk to the models about their necks, but she really wants to talk about her neck. She’s tired of people on social media accusing her – Tyra! – of being a “no-neck monster,” when she is actually posing perfectly Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you people?!
So for real, this entire lesson is about how sometimes one is totally right to not have a long neck in full view even though past “teaches” and critiques may have suggested otherwise.
To add fun and deflect our attention that this entire sequence is only here so that Tyra can say “So nyahh!” to Instagram commenters, all of this week’s lesson will be derived from animals.
Bad no-necks:
The Turtle: Head compressed into your shoulders. The models dutifully turtle their necks n.
The Iguana: Shoulders are so thick that their neck and shoulders become one. (Tyra says this is a boy thing. The boys practice dropping their shoulders.)
The Gorilla: When you hunch your head down. Lovely Will from last season is demonshamed.
Good necks
The Giraffe: Pull your neck forward and up beautifully. The models all do long necks and Tyra pretends to chew leaves.
Good no-necks
You guys, Tyra is really serious about there being good no-necks.
The Horse: Your neck is long and wonderful, but covered by a hand or hair. Everyone practices horsing while Tyra reiterates that this is NOT a no-neck monster. Wow, Tyra is really mad at commenters on the Internet.
Courtney does the horse and tentatively wraps her pony tail around her neck and then around again until it gets weird.
This is the only edgy moment of bondage that you will see in the entire bondage-themed show.
The Owl: HAAAAA, this is so clearly Tyra defending one of the specific example pictures that people have wrongly – Wrongly! – critiqued. Well done, editing team. Five stars.
The models all line up and owl to the side. Devin tries The Owl and gives his neck a funky tweak. Hadassah owls too fast and her eyes shift too much. Tyra blames that on pageanting.
The lesson is over. Shall we flip back to the answer key for the man idea? It’s Do not fucking question Tyra Banks.
Off to hair and makeup! Think of giraffes, horses, and owls!
We spend some times plugging the selfie phone. Barf. Lacey says her selfie game has never been stronger. I hope that was worth it, Lacey.
Lacey and Bello are chained. As Tyra sits at the ready to coach, Yu Tsai tells the models to give him lust and anger. Bello and Lacey are…game, I guess? Lacey us out front working it and Bello is losing himself (and his neck) behind her a bit.
Devin rejoices in Bello’s struggles.
Devin and Ashley are tied in (fake) barbed wire. He says he and Ashley look similar, so he’s going to take advantage of that. Tyra says The Giraffe should be Devin’s go-to. Stefano says Devin is loud and obnoxious, but also has a unique look and maybe a force to watch out for.
Stefano asks Hadassah whether her strongest pose is The Owl, The Giraffe, or The Horse. Hadassah looks at him like he just asked her if she prefers Rocky Mountain oysters or lutefisk, and says she doesn’t think they really have to do the poses Tyra taught them exactly. Hadassah says she feels like her strengths are in other things, and she doesn’t like to use her brain while doing this. Oh, Hadassah. Your run will be short, but it will burn so brightly.
Hadassah and Dustin are tied up in skinny belts.
I can’t tell you how much I wish I was at the meeting when someone said “Belts?” and someone else said “No! Skinny belts!” and then the whole room just erupted into cheers.
Dustin is giving good moments as an individual, but they’re not getting any as a couple. Hadassah is screwing it up royally and she’s not listening to any of Tyra’s directions. Oh, dear. As a final nail in the coffin, Yu Tsai says that Hadassah doesn’t know where the light is.
Justin and Mamé banter about how they’re both getting the Tyra Suite. He thinks Mamé is one of the few girls who make it into the “baby girl” category. OK, yes, that’s a stupid thing to say, but he is sweetly open and earnest about how much he likes her. Justin and Mamé shoulder dance together and it’s adorable. Just as you start to really like Justin, he does that J. Smooth thing again. Ugh. I hope Mamé can break him of that.
Mamé and Justin are tied together with computer cords. Tyra keeps saying she loves the “boingy boingies.” Yu Tsai say they’re too romantic and authentic and not high-fashion enough. (Aww.)
The crazy romantic kids pull themselves together and do giraffes that blow Tyra and Yu Tsai away. Love and ambition conquer all!
Yu Tsai heads over to troll Delanie about having been overweight. His theory is that she is grounded too much and “models heavy.” Is this supposed to be like a phantom limb or something? Nyle and Delanie are tied up in just one big tube top of rope that looks ridiculous. I think they kind of have to work to keep it on, and they could not be more uncomfortable. I would describe their chemistry as Victorian Contagion Ward.
Tyra tells Delanie to be more gangster and also that her legs are dead. Yu Tsai has been getting a better edit today, but he’s still terrible at coaching the models. He insults them instead of telling them how to improve, and he’d much rather whisper snarky mean girl insults in the corner with Tyra than help anybody.
Ava and Stefano are bound by little Christmas lights. Stefano, who briefly fell below his standard douche-per-minute rate and has ground to make up, tells Ava to do what he says. Ava, is not having it. Nor should she: For all his judging Hadassah, Stefano is screwing up and turtling hard. Ava is totally winning the shot: Stefano is pretty much her handbag. Ava says she and Stefano are “bounded” by lights, but she definitely knows who the better model is here.
Yu Tsai finds Courtney freaking out in a corner. She says she’s scared by the competition and her confidence levels aren’t where they need to be. Yu Tsai is actually cool about it and has her lie down on a white couch in a white room that’s right there for some reason.
Mikey is worried about Courtney – no, wait, he’s just worried that she’ll screw up his shoot. He stomps off, cursing, to find her. Mikey asks her again if she’s eating. Is this a preview of a disturbing plotline, or is that just Mikey’s thing? Mikey says she’s beautiful and he wants her to stick around and he needs her there today. Oh, and he wants to be there for her. (And this camera crew.) Courtney says Mikey takes care of her and gives her confidence.
At the shoot, Mikey and Courtney are tied together by their matching Viking Prison Klingon braids.
Courtney says she’s going to get through this because Mikey needs her. Ashley says Mikey is hot and she likes watching him shoot. Step away, Ashley. Courtney looks great, but has trouble finding the light and taking Tyra’s directions.
Mikey says they did a good job overall, but bitches that he’s been there for Courtney since Day One (haven’t they only been there like two days?) and says that’s getting hard and he doesn’t want to do that anymore. He says he’s done.
Back at the Model House, Mikey says he’s not used to being around so many “weak people.” While Courtney swims, Mikey sits with Devin and Ashley by the pool and loudly says that Courtney shouldn’t distract him. He says he’s here to win and all she has to do is eat (that’s three mentions) and compete. Ashley and Devin find this thigh-slappingly hilarious. Mike continues loudly being a dick about Courtney.
Courtney hears all of this. To his credit, Bello jumps out of his pool float and gets her the hell out of there. Courtney had thought Mikey was her friend, and she’s just found out that he isn’t in front of everyone. The sudden shift is surprising. I suspect Mikey realized that Courtney (a) is maybe going to stick to her boyfriend and (b) isn’t one of the cool kids. Oh, and (c) has low confidence, and thus is ripe for bullying.
Courtney is inside telling Ava and Bello (who are both listening like champs; props where props are due) that she’s never had a close friend who wanted to talk to her and spend time with her before, and she thought Mikey was that friend. Oh, poor thing.
Mikey realizes that he’s just been a complete dickface on camera and that this footage might make the show. He rushes in saying “CourtneyCourtneyCourtney” trying to do damage control.
Bello says “You made her cry,” in a calm but firm tone of voice. Maybe he can do life just fine when Devin is not around. Science needs to know about this.
Courtney hides her face. Mikey says he didn’t make Courtney cry like that, and Ava says “Look, she’s crying right now.” Mikey snaps at Ava to shut up. Ava awesomely tells Mike not to talk to her that way. Ava stands up for herself in interview mode too, saying it’s not OK to jump on her and talk to her like that, that it’s never OK. She’s pretty great this episode.
Mikey is not listening to Ava because he’s scrambling to make this thing that is clearly his fault not his fault. Now he’s yelling at Courtney, saying he’s always holding her and comforting her (Which makes it OK to mock her at other times?) and that he was such a prince as to offer a bed when she didn’t have one. Which was a super nice thing to do, except for the part where he told us directly that it was all to get laid. Notice how that makes it less nice, Mikey?
Courtney interviews that she thinks Mikey is the kind of person who is fake-nice to your face but whose real personality is monstrous. Correct. Back in housetime, Courtney is in bed trying to take a moment to cry it out while Mikey is sitting like a foot away and badgering her, demanding she admit to how he’s done all these great things for her. Courtney tells Mikey to leave, and he dicks away saying he hopes Ava comes through, because Courtney will collapse without him.
Hey, young women (and young men) who have stumbled on to this recap! Just for funsies, let’s take a look about how Mikey’s behavior stacks up against some common traits and tactics of abusers.
Let’s see: Controlling behavior; quick, intense involvement; blaming other people for his own problems; attempting to isolate the victim; verbal abuse; and a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality. And let’s not forget the bonus points for suggesting that Courtney will fall apart without him and Mikey’s thesis that being awful to Courtney was not actually a bad thing because he has also been nice to her. Not a perfect score, but certainly quite the run this early in the game!
For serious, young women: That guy who is sometimes an angry, mean asshole is not someone who you can fix or who is secretly a tiny baby bird inside that just needs your love. He’s just an angry, mean asshole looking for someone to be an angry, mean asshole to with increasing frequency. If you learn nothing else from this show, learn to walk briskly away from anyone who treats you like Mikey treats Courtney.
Judging!
Tyra notes that it’s awfully soon to be kicking someone off because we’ve barely gotten to know anyone. Somewhere Larissa lets out a single, bitter laugh.
Zorro’s hat fell in love with one of Steven Tyler’s hats and now Kelly Cutrone is wearing its offspring, but she is rocking it to the fullest degree.
So far she (or the editing team) seems to be taking a different tack this season, trying to be the dispenser of harsh-but-crucial truths instead of The Snarkiest Angel. It’s a better look for her. Let’s see if she can maintain.
Oh, HUZZAH! The contestants’ scores are a combination of the judges’ scores plus the challenge score! The vile social media score is dead! See you in Hell, social media score! (Also pulling up a chair to a flaming lake in Hades? The social media commentary AND that thing where they bring back a fallen model! Seriously, you guys, the show is getting better again.)
OK, let’s judge.
Bello and Lacey look great. Like an established couple who are just chained like that all the time, what’s it to you?
Kelly says that if Lacey looks that sexy as a “southern virgin,” she can’t wait to see Lacey after she has sex. Oof. That’s a lot of ignorance in a row, but Kelly’s trying to be nice, so we’ll let it pass.
Dustin and Hadassah look like they have each just been distracted by someone in a different direction. Tyra thinks Hadassah’s skin looks so amazing that it looks manufactured. But she also says that Hadassah doesn’t listen nor take constructive criticism. Hadassah has been hipped to the fact that Tyra does not care for hardheaded models (Aw, you guys, who told?), so Hadassah suddenly drops her IQ by 30 points and claims that she, a pageant veteran, didn’t follow Tyra’s instructions because she didn’t know what the word “profile” meant. Kelly Cutrone lets the obvious lie stand, but quickly shuts that line of nonsense down. She says that not being able to follow directions is pretty damned key to the job. Dustin’s face isn’t great.
Haaaaaa, Devin is wearing almost the exact same hat as Kelly Cutrone!
She’s a good sport about it. Devin and Ashley look great in shot. The judges love Devin’s picture. Ashley is doing a combination Giraffe AND Owl, so Tyra is most pleased.
Nyle and Delanie are pretty in their ropes, but they look like they might be holding a frozen rack of lamb between them. Tyra thinks Delanie is too safe and Nyle needs to be sexier. The whole universe thinks they have no chemistry.
Tyra asks Mikey and Courtney how they did. Mikey immediately says he thinks Courtney “did pretty good.” Tyra and Kelly find it funny that Mikey thinks he can assess Courtney for the room instead of noticing how freaking creepy and paternalistic that is. (Run, young women, RUN.)
The women like Mikey’s shot, but Kelly notices that something is off about Mikey’s attitude. She calls him “a little smuggie.” The room says Mikey seems to grow in power when he has even more hair, and Mikey foolishly begs them not to cut his hair on Makeover Day. Please. After begging like that, they’re going to go after his hair so hard he’s going to have head divots.
Courtney looks good, but does not listen to direction or chase the light on the set. Tyra says women can’t turn away from the light.
Ava and Stefano step up. Stefano fires up the Douche Train and says he was the leader and took charge. His statement is a tiny bit undercut by the fact that Ava looks amazing and Stefano looks like a floor lamp. Kelly Cutrone rubs Stefano’s nose in that exactly as much as he deserves.
Tyra says this is an example of the male model as an accessory. The very thing Trya is fighting against by including guys in this show! Well, that and ratings troubles.
Justin and Mamé both look beautiful, but they’re not together. Tyra says to mutter plans for the next shot to each other when you’re working in pairs and can’t see each other’s faces. Now that is a teach.
Culling!
14 models! 13 photos! Who will stay and who will have to spend the rest of filming living in one of those shipping containers from the first scene?
The highest score goes to DEVIN! Bello tries to find his happy place.
Runner up: Justin!
Lacey
Mikey (The hair is mentioned again and now he’s getting a buzz and a Brazilian at least.)
Ava
Mamé
Bello
Ashley
Courtney
Hadassah (Tyra makes her go through her posing paces and Kelly calls her difficult.)
Nyle
Dustin
And will the last photo go to Stefano or Delanie? To Delanie or Stefano? Is Delanie too pretty? (Huh?) Are her feet stuck in cement? Is Stefano just an accessory? (And also a douchenozzle?)
Stefano makes it. Team Asshat is still alive!
Tyra says she added boys to ANTM to make sure men don’t face discrimination and low pay in the fashion industry anymore. Tyra, that is a dandy sentiment, but how about making sure young women aren’t sexually harassed and pressured into eating nothing but juice-soaked cotton balls for lunch? Just as maybe another little thing to look into?
Delanie leaves with grace. Her photo disappears from the fakey nakeys. Aww.
Next week:
Ashley and Mikey like each other. (Get out of there, Ashley!) Devin thinks joining them in a bubble bath would be a good idea, then says he feels like a third wheel. We also see Devin telling Hadassah not to throw attitude at him.
Also it’s MAKEOVER DAY! Why would you bury the lede, promo? Hadassah says she will not have her head shaved. Dear god, someone give that producer a promotion.
Also, Stefano is fighting with Mamé, who is the wrong target for his nonsense. Looks like it’s going to be a tasty week! I’ll see you right back here.
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