[Ed. Note: We love partnering with PhilaLawyer. Because that’s when stuff really gets twisted. We like his bite, his taste in women and his unfettered commitment to the dark side.
He’s no stranger to Bitter Lawyer, having written some of our most popular pieces, and he manages to regularly entertain a fiercely loyal audience on his own blog where he freely divulges his insights and tales of debauchery in response to working in “the world’s worst profession.”
He’s always bitching about how busy he is, but we asked him to do us a favor anyway: Give people a chance to ask him an advice question—any question. And we want to see where he runs with it.
Well, low and behold, he agreed to answer three. So Bitter Lawyer is looking for the three best.
Send you questions for PhilaLawyer to . Put “Question for PL” in the subject line, and let us know what’s on your mind that only a vile guy like him may have the answer to. Don’t worry, you’ll remain anonymous.
The three people who submit the questions he answers will win a copy of his best-selling book, Happy Hour Is for Amateurs: Work Sucks. Life Doesn’t Have To., courtesy of us. And we may even throw in some Bitter Lawyer swag. That’s a pretty sweetened pot.
Take it away, PhilaLawyer….]
Hello, I’m the Philadelphia Lawyer, and thanks to the terrible judgment of the great folks at Bitterlawyer, I’m here to offer advice. Three columns over the next few weeks—an “Ask the Philadelphia Lawyer Anything” type of deal.
Why not? “Life, liberty, the right to pen a self-help blog, if not a whole book, by the age of twenty nine…” It’s the new American Birthright.
The way I see it, if we can’t share our insights to empower others, why have them at all?
Do we really need more advice?
Of course not. Mike Wallace has a brighter future than the legal industry; you needn’t know much more than that. But what else are you going to do with all that time you’re padding into bills? Read another twenty Wikipedia links on Kimodo Dragons, Spontaneous Human Combustion and the ‘86 Mets?
What do you know?
Nothing, just like everybody else. But somebody paid me to write a book (you might have seen a few associates hiding a copy here and there), which, I guess, means I’ve got something to say. So nothing from me probably sounds a little bit better than nothing from the guy in the office next door reading about Vatican conspiracies and Hitler’s private limousine between penny stock trades. Or maybe not (the Vatican stuff on Wikipedia is fascinating).
But seriously, I’ve been writing about the field since 2005 and have worked in a number of divergent areas—from corporate crime through business litigation all the way to plaintiff’s work. This provides me a rich tapestry of experience from which to draw.
So ask me anything you want to know.
“Should I screw the crazy paralegal on my floor?”
“Should I screw the crazy paralegal on the floor above mine?”
“I screwed the crazy paralegal on Nine, and now I have these sores and…”
You can even ask about the career. I might answer those.
The guys at Bitter Lawyer have a bunch of copies of my book, Happy Hour Is for Amateurs: Work Sucks. Life Doesn’t Have To.. Send them questions to . We’ll pick three to respond to, and those readers will get free copies of the book.
Because I Care,
The Philadelphia Lawyer
 If I only get two responses, we’ll flip a coin and one person will get two copies. No worries—they make excellent gifts. Perfect for teens.
The Philadelphia Lawyer lives outside Philadelphia with his family, including his non-lawyer wife.
Read other Bitter Lawyer posts by PhilaLawyer.
Check out other lists, tallies and scores to settle in Bitter by Numbers.
Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook. Follow on Twitter.
Buy Bitter Lawyer merchandise.