1. The stair machine divides all of humanity. Yeah, I know, there are already gym divides between the free weight people and the weight machines people and between the weight people and the cardio people and between the adrenaline people and the yoga people and between the hardcore sweatbox yoga people and the gentle yoga…


So Long and Thanks From All The Fish: The Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit Special
There was a time when the aggressive badness, terrible messages about women’s bodies, and general free-floating unhingedness of the hour-long ads from Victoria’s Secret used to pummel my soul. But I am a veteran of two Underwear One Cannot Wear specials now, and I believe I have developed a bit of a protective skin. So…

My Commute Home, as Enhanced by My iPod Classic
HEY, ALI, HERE IS SOME INXS. Oh, hey! Haven’t heard that in a while. Thanks! GOOD SONG, RIGHT? Yup! IT’S THE ONE THING Uh huh. YOU ARE MY THING Yeah, good song. YOU MEAN THAT? Of course. BECAUSE HERE IS SOME MORE INXS! Hey, spontaneous rock block! Thanks! THE BAND STILL HOLDS UP, RIGHT? Definitely.…

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show: Thank You, Sir, May I Have Another?
OK, I’ll admit it: I watched the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show for the first time last year and I was not properly braced and it might have made me go into something like a panicked fugue state. Well, it’s not happening this year. I know what I’m up against. I’m ready to find the empowerment…
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