Here’s a thought. Let’s say that out there right now, there’s a completely secret separate internet. A shadowy network where nefarious individuals trade illicit goods for untraceable software – the *holds flashlight in front of my face* DARKWEB. And yes, okay, the Darkweb is totally a thing that you already know about. It currently supports…
The EU Digital Commissioner Wants to Ban Hyperlinks, Is an Idiot
Whenever governmental agencies try to impose regulations on the internet, I get a special feeling in my chest. That feeling, specifically, is bile trying to escape my cardiac sphincter in a torrent of excruciating heartburn. First we had SOPA, which was so bad that the internet literally turned itself off in protest. Now we have CISA,…
FBI to Ransomware Victims: Ehhhh?
Here’s a scenario right out of a Neal Stephenson subplot or The Good Wife a couple seasons ago: One morning, you log onto your computer, only to find that all of your irreplaceable files have been cryptographically locked. Someone else holds the key, and that someone will only unlock your data if you pay them…
This Sixth Grader is Better at Information Security Than You
You suck at passwords. This isn’t a personal slur—the law of averages says that you have not chosen a password that can adequately defend your data. In 2014, the most common (and therefore worst) password found in leaked data was still “123456.” The second most common password is “password.” Even if you’re smarter than the…
The CIA Hack Reminds You That Teenagers Are To Be Feared Mightily
When you think about the secure communications technology available to high-powered individuals such as the director of the CIA, you probably don’t think about AOL. And indeed, when it came out two days ago that the director of the Central Intelligence Agency not only used a personal AOL email account in order to conduct government…
Sony Lawsuit Payment Reveals the Breach Settlements Continue to be a Windfall… For Lawyers
Let’s recap: In November 2014, a hacking group known as the Guardians of the Peace, widely assumed to be based in North Korea, attacked Sony Pictures to devastating effect. The entire company was, for lack of a better word, pwned. Internal emails got out, the salaries for the top brass, the entire accounting structure of…
Apple’s Siri Is Now Both Useless AND Vulnerable To Hackers
Here’s a confession: during the entire period of my iPhone ownership, I have used Siri exactly twice. This probably isn’t exactly the most titillating disclosure, since I’m sure most of you feel about the same, so I’ll sweeten the pot with this fact: Both times, I’ve been making an “open the pod bay doors” joke.…
Why The Dell-EMC Merger Won’t Save Either Company
Here’s a funny thing: I used to work for a company that worked with EMC. This company, a small outfit outside of Boston, was in charge of taking factory-defect mainframes, breaking them down, and recycling them. We’d strip out the hard drives, wipe them, and sell them, then rip out the metal armatures from the server…
FBI, NSA Generously Offer to Read all of Your Encrypted Communications Forever
Reader, you probably don’t know this, but you’ve probably agreed that it’s still totally OK for the government to listen in on your encrypted communications. Like many things involving the three-letter agencies, your agreement is secret, even to yourself, but still carries the force of law. Let’s back up a second — what’s happening? Basically,…
The World is a James Bond Film, and You’re Just an Extra
If you’re like me, when you read that Russian hackers had hacked a satellite to conceal their movements, you probably thought, “bullshit,” and then turned the page, right? Hackers don’t really do those things in real life. They seriously don’t —most hackers conform to about four methodologies. This makes sense, as criminals are much like…