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Snowed Under

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 15 Comments

A few weeks prior to Christmas, my girlfriend and I purchased airline tickets to travel across the country to be home for the holidays.  We were to leave the last weekend before Christmas.  On that Friday, a senior partner told me I needed to argue a motion on Monday.  I told him that I was flying home the next day, …

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My Bitter Christmas List

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 17 Comments

‘Twas thirteen days before Christmas, when all through the firm, Not an associate was stirring—because we got laid off. Less than two weeks before Christmas, my large firm laid off its associates. But the proximity to the holidays is not the most frustrating part.  The most frustrating part is the expectation that we will all find new jobs before our …

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Duty (Never) Calls

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 7 Comments

My supervising partner comes into my office and says, “Might need you this weekend.  Be available.” I get it—it’s part of my job.  But this is the fourth time he’s done this in as many weeks, and he’s never called me.  No call, no email, nothing all weekend.  He always says, “You’re around, right?  Going to need you.” Then no …

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Stock Purchase (Dis)Agreement

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 8 Comments

I stayed up all night revising this stupid Stock Purchase Agreement.  The Partner in charge, who’s a classic angry-nerd-law-dick, gave me lots of detailed comments to incorporate into the agreement.  He wrote them in red ink on the contract and said, “Make these changes, and get it out by midnight.” It’s like 9:00 p.m., and I’m cranking away, when I …

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Legal Mean Streets

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 15 Comments

I had just lateraled over to a major firm in a new city.  One day I receive a call from a partner asking me to come to his office, and to bring the “Acme” file.  When I get there, he says, “Walk with me.” I assume we’re on another Starbucks run “meeting.” Instead, we get to the curb, and he …

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Mr. Procrastination

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 12 Comments

I was asked by a significant partner with whom I actually enjoy working to help out on a multi-million dollar appeal.  Fabulous.  Actually supervising me on this project, however, would be the schlumpy Neanderthal partner we charitably call “Mr. Procrastination.” Not fabulous. Round one was post-trial motions, all-nighters.  Round two, the initial appellate brief, was when he waited until the …

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