Info That Would’ve Been Helpful 100 Hours Ago

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 9 Comments

Partner drops a huge motion on me for summary judgment, which I am to write in one week.  This is a case that has been litigated for five years, involving more than fifty years of contracting history between the parties.  The associates regularly assigned to the case inexplicably never researched many of the significant issues of the case or drafted …

Share this Post

Hard (Not) at Work

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 5 Comments

Some partner I never met emailed last night and asked if I’d help out with a closing. I said yes, of course. Thirty-eight hours later, I haven’t gone to bed, left the building—or done a goddamn thing.  I’m just sitting outside the conference room, waiting for this ass clown to give me something to do.  All-nighters suck.  Gratuitous all-nighters suck much more! I’m …

Share this Post

On Lawyers and Apologies

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 2 Comments

As a law student who interned for ten months only to find out that I suck at it in one ten minute conversation with the supervisor, I have some thoughts on lawyers and apologies. So, the following will be a primer for any attorney who is attempting to mend fences. I’ll write the treatise later. 1) Stick a pin in your fat …

Share this Post

One Wrong Call

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 4 Comments

The other day, I was minding my own business, reviewing a bunch of documents, when the phone rang.  Outside number.  Didn’t recognize it.  But like I moron, I answered it – thought maybe it was this cute chick I met the day before.  Anyway, the guy asked for “Mr. Wolf.” Mr. Wolf is a notorious asshole partner.  But I’d never …

Share this Post

Earthquakes Are for Pussies

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 7 Comments

Submitted by “anon_in_LA”: A little context: I work in a huge firm in downtown LA but am from the Northeast. We have blizzards, maybe the occasional hurricane, but that’s about it. No brush fires. No mudslides. No earthquakes. From 8.30 a.m. on this morning, I was the designated first-year note-taking bitch on a horrible, long-ass page-through of the latest rounds …

Share this Post