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Bitter News, 4-20-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as easy to pronounce as Eyjafjallajökull: • Guns AND butter.  Law school OR babies.  Broadly speaking, of course.  [The Stanford Daily] • Hmm, I’ll pick law school over babies, Bob.  Great.  Now that you’ve decided to go a whopping $100,000 in debt in three years vs. 18, you probably want to know what the hell …

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Bitter News, 4-19-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as legal related as Acie Law’s “Lawman” tattoo: • Too bad he passed.  He would have made “a great oral advocate.” But rapper Notorious BIG is dead.  And Judge Jacqueline Nguyen just dismissed his mother’s wrongful death lawsuit.  [The Guardian] • The SEC/Goldman Sachs lawsuit is strong enough to affect the price of copper, but …

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Bitter News, 4-16-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as diverse as an Amish choir singing next to topless sunbathers: • BigLaw with old-world charm!  “DLA Piper is raising US associate pay by 10% in a move that will return salaries to pre-downturn levels.” Christmas came in April when the firm announced mid-year pay increases this week.  $160K for first years is back like …

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Bitter News, 4-15-10

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views 2 Comments

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that dance twice nightly at The Great Alaskan Bush Co.: • They’re here Heather O’Rourke style.  The new U.S. News & World Report law school rankings have dropped like they’re hot.  And what does it all mean?  Who the hell knows?!  Apparently there’s a methodology, so that’s pretty cool.  But, in reality, all it does …

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Bitter News, 4-14-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that blissfully overlooked National Be Kind to Lawyers Day: • Age is just a number…that matters.  You can quote Jay-Z feat. Mr. Hudson all you want (and if you’re old, you won’t get that reference), but none of us are Forever Young.  And Ashby Jones hits us square between the cataracts eyes today with two …

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Bitter News, 4-13-10

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views 1 Comment

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are vote-ably the best place to meet women: • There’s a mad oversupply of lawyers who are hubristic and feel worthy of $160K of annual quan that isn’t going around like it used to.  And a new Kaplan survey exposes that prospective law students aren’t getting any wiser about analyzing market trends.  Their decisions …

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Bitter News, 4-12-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are the new porn men love—like Facebook: • We mentioned Alex Barnett, former lawyer-turned-comedian, in our “Top Three Stand-Up Comedians Who Were Lawyers” list, but he didn’t make the ranks.  Because no one’s ever heard of him.  And he’s learning the hard way that cracking funnies doesn’t pay the bills like his soul-killing law …

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Bitter News, 4-9-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as disturbing as a fat kid singing Lady Gaga: • Veep veep!  Make way for the Cheesesteak Bidenmobile.  Nom nom nom.  “Vice President Joe Biden made money during law school by driving cheesesteak sandwiches from his home state of Delaware back to school in Syracuse, N.Y., where he would sell them for ‘three times as …

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Bitter News, 4-8-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that use police cruisers like malt-liquor limos: • “What’s funnier than Sacha Baron Cohen poking fun at the U.S. Constitution by comparing it to the way his ex-girlfriend was always ‘trying to amend herself’ with tattoos?” A couple things.  But that’s not the point.  Anyway, said ex-girlfriend (whom he met in 1987 during a British …

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Bitter News, 4-7-10

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as hard to look at as the NBA All-Ugly Team: • Sometimes it takes a non-hooker with a heart of gold, like Rachel Uchitel, to make you feel stupid.  Stupid for being a smart person who gunned his/her way through law school and tries to be a lawyer.  We’ve long considered lawyers and hookers to …

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