PreciousMomentsParody

Five Precious Moments That Shouldn’t Be Commemorated

Bitter Staff Endings 1 Comment

Precious Moments: some call them adorable, others call them creepy. Sadly for collectors, everyone calls them worthless.1 But did you know they are godly? We’re not talking wholesome, we’re talking ZOMG they have their own special chapel dedicated entirely to enshrining tear-drop eyed children. Heh, don’t believe us? We have photomagraphic evidence! This is the outside of the Precious Moments Chapel. …

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Lawyers Behaving Badly: Jailhouse Edition

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Most criminal defendants, in my experience, welcome the opportunity to leave their jail cells – if only for a brief respite from the boredom, the smell and even the company. And who knows – any trip outside the cell could net an unexpected chance at escape. But Vidalia, Georgia attorney Wilson Smith isn’t like most criminal defendants. Or the Count …

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Offensive Emails: Pennsylvania Supreme Court Nominee Edition

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Pennsylvania’s legal community has an email problem. First it was the pornographic emails being swapped between the Attorney General’s Office and other state offices. Then it turned out some of the more offensive files came from none other than a sitting Pennsylvania Supreme Court justice, one Seamus McCaffery, since retired. So you would think that if you were called into …

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Yes, Virginia, DC Is Actually Just Like House Of Cards

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Gritty, full of duplicitous politicians, high-powered lawyers with secret lives and lowly criminals, Washington, DC as portrayed in the hit Netflix series House of Cards doesn’t stray far from reality – especially when it comes to lawyers. Consider, for example, the news that’s rocked the city for more than a week. David Messerschmitt, bright young associate in the intellectual property …

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Would You Take This Case? 50 Shades Of ‘Meh’ Edition

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Remember the lady who was super mad that her pantyhose did not give her an orgasm, as was apparently promised by the commercial? Oh, how we chortled at that lawsuit, because that is a ridiculous class action and the law firm that filed it should be subject to both ridicule (because PANTYHOSE ORGASM LAWSUIT) and a sort of grudging approval …

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Lawyers Advertising Badly – Super Bowl Edition

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While everyone may be angry at Nationwide over its dead kid ad and proud they got GoDaddy to kill its puppy ad, the real ad action was in a local market, where a Savannah lawyer again tried to break the Internet with his own production for the second year in a row. Last year, Jamie Casino of Casino Law Group …

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Is Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane The Comeback Kid?

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The word is out, and without a leak. The investigative grand jury considering whether Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane (D) should face criminal charges has said she should, according to documents released by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. The released documents do not, however, provide any details on the testimony the grand jury heard. The released documents do show that the …

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Kathleen Kane's PA Pileup: Porn, Penn State, Porous Grand Juries, and Possible Charges

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Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane (D) appears headed for a bad year after having endured a pretty tough 2014. A leak from an investigative grand jury investigating a grand jury leak (yes, that’s right) says the jury has recommended criminal charges against Kane. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, which cited unnamed sources, the investigative grand jury authorized by former Pennsylvania …

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