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Screening the BigLaw Un-Firm

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Call me crazy, but you’d think my law firm would realize that we’re a group of educated professionals who are more than capable of seeking our own medical attention. I don’t think there’s a soul here who doesn’t know that when you feel chest discomfort and shooting pains down your left arm, the advised treatment is to pop two aspirin and …

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Walking Away from Representing Tooper, A Parrot

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At a friend’s encouragement, I met with a man named Joe to discuss “a once-in-a-lifetime entrepreneurial opportunity.” To be exact, my astute, older, wiser friend said, “This guy’s the next Walt Disney, and he’s looking for a partner.” Who can say no to Walt Disney? Especially when you’re a miserable, self-hating corporate lawyer working for a joyless and sadistic law …

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7 Things That Always Happen at Law Firms Around Christmas

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If the past few years have proven anything, it’s that nothing is predictable at law firms anymore. Lockstep gave way to mass layoffs. The billable hour absconded to “alternative billing.” “Offer” was replaced by “defer” and “rescind.” And year-end bonuses—don’t get us started. But there are still a few things that happen annually in BigLaw around this time of year that …

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Five Gifts Not to Give an Unemployed Lawyer for Christmas

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When birthdays and holidays roll around, a lawyer’s friends and family are often left wondering what to get someone who already has everything—or at least everything the lawyer can generally buy. This year, however, there’s a good chance people will be trying to pick out the perfect gift for the lawyer who has nothing—or at least nothing new since finding …

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Giving Thanks for Billing on Thanksgiving

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I just got back from a meeting regarding a response (due Monday) to a motion for summary judgment in a trade secrets case. Junior partner who was left in charge of dealing with responding to the 865 statements of undisputed material fact (and who had been aggressively insisting since last Monday that it was “under control”) revealed that although he had …

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