Hello, and welcome to the second Bitter Empire posting of Off The Menu, a series you may recall from its time on other websites where we explore the craziest stories about food from my email inbox. This week, we’re doing another old favorite: the dumbest customers to ever darken a restaurant’s door. As always, these are…
Off The Menu: The Worst Restaurant Customers Ever
Restaurant customers are awful, and this week’s Off the Menu proves it.
Which Game Of Thrones House Would Each SCOTUS Justice Belong To?
With seemingly all of America returning to Westeros to find out if R+L really does = J,1 we figured it was about time to find out what H = RBG. That’s right: it’s time to determine which Game of Thrones house each SCOTUS justice would belong to. Stephen Breyer — Tully — Do we even…
The Liberal Case Against Trump: I’d Do REALLY Badly In A Post-Apocalyptic Hellscape
Recently, the esteemed (nope) Walker Bragman of the venerable (REALLY NOPE) internet institution of Salon dot com made a passionate argument in favor of liberals electing Donald Josephus Trump to the highest office in America. Bragman’s basic thesis is that electing Trump wouldn’t be so bad in the long run, because it would better position…
The Rise And Fall Of H.A. Goodman, Mad Prophet Of The Most Bernificent Order Of St. Bernie
As H.A. Goodman finished his daily Bernvocations and reverently laid his priestly accouterments at the foot of the opulent Bernie Sanders shrine he maintained in his otherwise-spartan apartment, he paused to reflect on the progress of his Great Work. Things were looking up for his cause. The Bern had Bernpaged (ramBerned? Goodman would have to…
Bernie Sanders or My Jewish Grandfather: A Quote Quiz
Throughout this entire primary season, one inescapable fact has kept me awake at nights, gnawing at the very fabric of my understanding of politics: Bernie Sanders basically IS my Jewish grandfather. The similarities are more than few. Both were born and raised in Brooklyn (Bernie in Midwood, my grandfather in Bedford-Stuyvesant). Both were/are the children…