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On Object Permanence In The WWE

April 1, 2019 by Calvin Kasulke 1 Comment

I. Should your roommate (Fig. 1, “Sam”) purchase a projector for your apartment, you may experience a televisual shift away from your traditional solo-Netflix viewership. Through an HDMI attachment to a laptop, beaming the projection across a Bradburian chunk of your living room wall may cause an increase in sharing one another’s company during screen…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: john cena, object permanence, wrestling, wwe

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Two-And-A-Half Heels

July 10, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

John Cena and Cesaro had a very long match Monday night. The announcers repeatedly deemed it a classic well before the fight was over, but there was a conspicuously absent element that made Michael Cole’s proclamations ring hollow: the crowd. They weren’t silent — more on that in a moment — but they did not chant…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: brock lesnar, john cena, wwe

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WWE RAW Recap: On Bo Dallas

April 23, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

Bo Dallas returned from a months-long hiatus on Monday night, and it’s the only part of Monday’s RAW that matters to me at all. Extreme Rules is this Sunday, but with Monday’s show bereft of pre-PPV shake-ups there was plenty of room to focus on the WWE’s most significantly insignificant wrestler. Roman Reigns appeared in…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: bo dallas, bolieve, raw, recap, wwe

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WWE RAW RECAP: ‘Like Single White Female, But With Wrestlers’

April 13, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

Though Rollins made off with the Heavyweight title, the real winners of Wrestlemania 31 were the Intercontinental and United States titles. Both titles were won, not incidentally, by former Heavyweight champs Daniel Bryan and John Cena, respectively, ostensibly restoring a certain level of credibility to the both belts while failing to extract either championship from…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: flagging, luke harper, raw, sheamus, wwe

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There Is A Flintstones/WWE Crossover Movie And We Watched It

April 2, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

Early in this 50’s-sitcom inspired, classic children’s cartoon straight-to-DVD WWE crossover movie, The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown, Fred and Barney have decided their solution to their problems is animal fighting. Fred’s boss having just carved his paycheck on a stone tablet and smashed it with a hammer in front of him, as it…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: flintstones, john cena, wwe

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WWE RAW Recap: The One Where We Realize Sting Is 56 Years Old

March 27, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

[Editor’s note: yes, that is Paul Stanley in the background of the picture. Why do you think we used it as the picture?] Look, I should’ve admitted this to you a long time ago: I wasn’t a wrestling fan as a kid. While I did play and enjoy WWE video games my one friend with…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: paul stanley, raw, sting, wwe

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RAW Recap: Pre-Pre-Wrestlemania

March 25, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

By way of challenging Rollins to a match at Wrestlemania — and accepting the terms that he fight Rollins that night, fully aware that he will likely be attacked by everyone in the Authority — Randy “The Viper” Orton declares “I have enough venom for each and every member of the Authority.” While not the…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: orton, raw, recap, rollins, wwe

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WWE RAW Recap: If Fastlane’s Theme Isn’t The Eagles Song, We Riot

February 24, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke 15 Comments

Hello, and welcome to last week’s RAW recap. It’s the RAW before Fastlane, the last Pay Per View before Wrestlemania and so far only PPV without a clear reason for its title. But never mind that, because John Cena’s already talking.1 If you take last week’s Cena-Rusev promo and subsequent brawl and reverse their roles,…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: john cena, raw, recap, wwe

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RAW Recap: WWE Didn’t Incorporate Seth Rollins’ Nudes Into The Plotline So Skip This Week If You Want

February 18, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

This week on Monday Night Raw, the WWE smashes their Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns action figures together like a child unsure if they want their toys to fight or kiss, and eventually settles on both. Reigns opens the show in-ring on the mic, but is mercifully interrupted early by Daniel Bryan’s arrival. Bryan earnestly…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: daniel bryan, raw, roman reigns, seth rollins, wwe

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Royal Rumble Recap: Humble Mumble

January 28, 2015 by Calvin Kasulke Leave a Comment

Bless the ornery crowd in Philadelphia for becoming the biggest story out of the solidly mediocre Royal Rumble on Sunday. Maybe “mediocre” is misleading — all of the matches leading up to the Royal Rumble were consistently excellent, as one expects PPV matches to be. The Ascension went over the New Age Outlaws, as I…

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: royal rumble, wrestling, wwe

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