Ugh, this show is the worst. We had some potential when we started, but now here we are in Thailand, and JoJo’s choices are Robby who left his girlfriend to be on the show and Jordan the failed football player who cheated on his ex. Not sure why this show still pushes the love narrative…
Bachelorette 2016: We Still Have Trouble Telling These Dudes Apart
I turned on the TV on Monday and watched Michelle Obama crush it at the DNC, which led into Elizabeth Warren hating on Trump, the thing she does so well, and Bernie telling his voters they need to support Hillary. Good work, Bernie, but if would could just finish up I’m trying to get to…
Bachelorette 2016: Hometowns Week, Hooray!
Finally it’s hometowns week! We get to see what kind of emotionally stunted households produced the remaining four dudes who want to find their wife on a reality show! First up is Chase, who I keep calling Chet. Sorry, Chet. He’s nervous because he’s got divorced parents, which means he is irreparably broken under this…
Bachelorette 2016: Rockabye Goodbye Sweet Baby James
Yay Buenos Aires! We are within spitting distance of hometowns, and JoJo could be falling in love with several of these guys! This week there will be 2 one-on-one dates, but no rose to be had at the date; there will be a rose for the group date. Alex gets the first one-on-one, which is…
Bachelorette 2016: Laughing So Hard We End Up Crying For Argentina
JoJo is in beautiful, glamorous Buenos Aires! Mostly because Uruguay’s tourism board ran out of money, I’m sure. Harrison and JoJo have a confab. Big week for JoJo! She’s a little afraid of falling in love with multiple people a la Ben. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, she’s starting to understand…
Bachelorette 2016: So. Much. Crying.
It’s the longest day of the year, and we get to celebrate with Chad leaving! The guys spread Chad’s leftover protein powder ashes, which is hilarious, good job, guys. Wells intones “Death to Tyrants” as he drop kicks the protein powder container into the woods. I’m gonna hope Wells isn’t comparing Chad to Abraham Lincoln?…
Bachelorette 2016: Is Chad Gonna Actually Murder Someone Or Not?
The dudes are living in a filthy, dude pigsty. Mostly they sit around talking about their pecs or glutes or something. Harrison huddles them all together to tell them that this week there will be two one-on-one date and one group date. The guys on the one-on-one one will risk going home if they don’t…
Bachelorette 2016: Chad Is The Very Worst And Might Be The Very Best
JoJo is excited to have all these meatheads fawning over her! She’s forced by the producers to say she wants what Ben and Lauren have, which is false, and also poor JoJo. The show quickly identifies its first villain, Chad, a “luxury real estate agent.” Chad is concerned that not all the guys have experience…
Bachelorette 2016: Now With 100% More Drunk Canadian Guy Who Is Not Afraid To Get Undressed
tl;dr recap: “Bring on the men!” JoJo cries. “I’m ready.” But there’s no way, JoJo. There is no way. Welcome to the Bachelorette! JoJo is here, recovering from Ben’s whole “I’m in love with two women” deal. She gets to sit down with Kaitlyn, Ali, and Desiree. They all mock Ben’s no kissing on the…
The Bachelor Season 20 Finale: Goodbye, Boring Ben
Well, here we are, about to watch one man break the heart of one woman in the name of true love with another woman that he’s known for approximately six weeks. Love, American style! Harrison informs us and the huge crowd of women he’s brought into his studio lair that there are shockers to be…