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Love Struck Man Lands Himself in Custody

M Walter Lawyer, News & Views, Really Real News Leave a Comment

Apparently, police officers tased a man yesterday just for trying to propose to his maybe his girlfriend . . . My theories are 1) he was really really high on drugs, 2) this is her way of breaking up with him, 3) the gays really have ruined marriage. Lets look for clues to find the answer! Clue number one: Someone called 911 …

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DUI Conviction Reversed to Allow Napping Defense

M Walter Lawyer, Really Real News Leave a Comment

According to KGW Portland, the Oregon Supreme Court reversed a DUI conviction against James Newman stating that the trial court had erroneously barred Mr. Newman from presenting evidence that he was “sleep driving.” Mr. Newman has history of sleep walking, and he wanted to present evidence that he unconsciously drove his vehicle on the evening in question. This creates an …

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Gun Threats: The Untold Story of Legos and Pop-tarts

M Walter Lawyer, News & Views, Really Real News Leave a Comment

As you may know, if you are extremely astute and listen to politics constantly, there is a gun debate going on in this country. Liberals are upset because crazy people keep spraying the general population with bullets. Conservatives are upset because they believe that any gun control legislation at all will eventually lead to an authoritarian state where the mere …

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Retail and Food Services Lose Employees to Burgeoning Legal Market

M Walter Lawyer, Satire Leave a Comment

The recent increase in legal sector jobs has created problems for local business owners who claim they can’t find enough recent law school graduates to fill minimum wage jobs in their areas. Local coffee shops and retailers are being forced to hire students still in college. “It’s a real problem” says local coffee shop owner Bill Johnson. “College students have …

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