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Bachelorette 2016: Hometowns Week, Hooray!

  Dolly Moehrle /   July 19, 2016 /   Critic /   Leave a Comment

Finally it’s hometowns week! We get to see what kind of emotionally stunted households produced the remaining four dudes who want to find their wife on a reality show!

First up is Chase, who I keep calling Chet. Sorry, Chet. He’s nervous because he’s got divorced parents, which means he is irreparably broken under this show’s logic, apparently. They’re in Colorado, specifically a suburb of Denver, where there’s snow on the ground. Chase’s dad comes over first; he and Chase haven’t had much contact due to the soul-destroying divorce, but there’s no time like the present while you’re being filmed for reality TV to mend those fences! We go immediately into a place of horrific awkwardness when Chase asks his dad why his marriage to Chase’s mom didn’t work out. Not the best time to discuss this, son! On the plus side, his dad answers pretty well and hopes his son won’t repeat the same mistakes he did. Talking with Chase without JoJo, his dad reminds him that his decisions have consequences. Awkward. Now they go over to meet Chase’s mom, stepdad, some other people, and there’s a baby there.

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Is the cold in Denver not noticeable in some way because these people keep going outside among the snow in pretty light clothing and you can’t see their breath or anything?

Chase talks to everybody about hesitating to say he’s in love with JoJo. Then Chase tells JoJo he’s falling in love with her. Nice work, Chet! She’s not going to pick you.

JoJo is going to Chico, CA next. She is super excited to see nature! Deer! Bikers! Chico is very beautiful even though JoJo has never heard of Chico. Jordan points out that he lives in Nashville but considers Chico his home. Jordan and JoJo tour his old high school. They see a wall of photos of Jordan’s greatest hits. JoJo points out a picture of Jordan’s brother Aaron. Jordan quickly changes the subject, but they go outside to the bleachers to talk about Aaron in more depth. To recap, Aaron Rodgers is a famous and talented football person, and apparently he and Jordan and the whole family don’t get along right now. JoJo is only moderately sad that she won’t have box seats at any of Aaron’s football games. As JoJo discusses Jordan and Aaron with their other brother Luke, we’re shown a family photo in which Aaron is blurred out. Ouch. JoJo loves Jordan and does not see him for the floppy haired snake he is.

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On to St. Augustine, FL! I have been to St. Augustine! Robby asks JoJo to whistle, and she does, really impressively. A horse-drawn carriage appears and transports them around the town. St. Augustine is the “oldest continuously occupied European-established settlement within the borders of the contiguous United States” per Wikipedia. Say that ten times fast.

Robby’s mom and JoJo bond right away. I love that Robby’s family has those wine glasses that are inside a bigger plastic glass. Perfection.

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JoJo tells Robby’s mom she’s falling in love with Robby, which delights her. Meanwhile, talking to Robby, Robby’s mom has news from the outside world. His ex’s roommate has been telling the media that Robby broke up with his girlfriend go to on the show. Robby immediately runs in on JoJo talking to his sisters and asks to talk to her privately. JoJo is upset by the rumors and of course the words “here for the right reasons” are uttered by both of them. JoJo was already worried that Robby hadn’t taken enough of a break betfour-yearfour year relationship and going on the show, so this is no good. Per Robby, his relationship was over “9 months before it actually ended,” and the last time they saw each other his ex slapped him and they haven’t spoken since. But they seem to get over it, make out, and JoJo heads to the next hometown with Robby still in play.

The last hometown is Luke! It’s Texas, y’all. Luke drives her out to the middle of nowhere where an entire family reunion is waiting for her. They ride horses and talk to seemingly every member of Luke’s family. Later, Luke takes her on a walk, where, next to a heart made out of petals on the ground he tells her she is “in his heart.”

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I mean….not sure why no “I love you”??

The rose ceremony is being held at an airport. The three guys JoJo picks will immediately fly to their next destination.

JoJo in her interview cries and says she has decided to let go of Luke, which is stupid and JoJo is the worst. At at the rose ceremony before JoJo can give away a rose, Luke asks if they can have a talk. Away from the others, Luke clarifies that he is in love with her. JoJo, wearing the electric blue gown of heartbreaker status, is immediately thrown, because this changes things!

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And…we get a cliffhanger! Will she get rid of Luke or Chet or Chad or whatever his name is? We will find out next week. We will ALSO get a whole heapin’ serving of Men Tell All, too, so next week is guaranteed to be pretty great, if you like grown men complaining about each other.

Filed Under: Critic Tagged With: bachelorette, recap

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