Bar Review: Just Push Play

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer

All I’ve wanted to do is get through bar review hell. It was miserable and mind-numbing, but not that hard. You go watch the video, you study your ass off, and you basically have no life. That’s it–just the “W”s: Wake up, watch, wish you weren’t born. Repeat.

But my summer had an extra wrinkle. My class was in one of those “satellite” locations with all the lectures on DVD. All you have to do is shut the hell up and watch the video. That shouldn’t be that hard. But the moderator guy, you know, the one who couldn’t be bothered to pay full price for the course, wasn’t able to get that simple task right all summer.

In the first week, Mr. Press Play couldn’t figure out how to use the DVD player. Okay, it’s pretty simple technology. Stick the thing in—it only goes in one way—and PRESS PLAY.

In the second week, before the video, the bungler asked if people had started doing practice MBE tests. This created a 30-minute debate that was as boring as it was useless. That would’ve been fine, except that we lost the room to another class and therefore missed the last 30 minutes of the lecture. START THE VIDEO ON TIME!

Each week Mr. Press Play either managed to start the video late (because we’ve got nothing but time here!) or somehow screwed up the simple procedure. A few clumsy maneuvers, and he managed to eviscerate five minutes of torts. Butter Fingers screwed up our ConLaw DVD, and when it wouldn’t work, the solution was to come in on a Sunday for a repeat viewing.

But the last day was the worst. Mr. Press Play didn’t disappoint. He left the DVD in his car, which was parked illegally. (Yeah, he was that much of a dumbass.) Long story short, we lost the DVD. Naturally, he didn’t want to explain it to the Bar/Bri people. But we did. Okay, I did. And they told me that they couldn’t find a spare one in time. They tape them live, and the other copies were all being shuffled around the state. We would just have to go without.

That’s right. Thanks to Mr. Press Play, we missed our last tape. Not that it was anything import. Just a review of Contracts. All of it. I’m sure that won’t be on the bar.

Thanks, Mr. Press Play.


Image cartoon courtesy of

Share this Post