Bar Review: Just Push Play

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 22 Comments


All I’ve wanted to do is get through bar review hell. It was miserable and mind-numbing, but not that hard. You go watch the video, you study your ass off, and you basically have no life. That’s it–just the “W”s: Wake up, watch, wish you weren’t born. Repeat.

But my summer had an extra wrinkle. My class was in one of those “satellite” locations with all the lectures on DVD. All you have to do is shut the hell up and watch the video. That shouldn’t be that hard. But the moderator guy, you know, the one who couldn’t be bothered to pay full price for the course, wasn’t able to get that simple task right all summer.

In the first week, Mr. Press Play couldn’t figure out how to use the DVD player. Okay, it’s pretty simple technology. Stick the thing in—it only goes in one way—and PRESS PLAY.

In the second week, before the video, the bungler asked if people had started doing practice MBE tests. This created a 30-minute debate that was as boring as it was useless. That would’ve been fine, except that we lost the room to another class and therefore missed the last 30 minutes of the lecture. START THE VIDEO ON TIME!

Each week Mr. Press Play either managed to start the video late (because we’ve got nothing but time here!) or somehow screwed up the simple procedure. A few clumsy maneuvers, and he managed to eviscerate five minutes of torts. Butter Fingers screwed up our ConLaw DVD, and when it wouldn’t work, the solution was to come in on a Sunday for a repeat viewing.

But the last day was the worst. Mr. Press Play didn’t disappoint. He left the DVD in his car, which was parked illegally. (Yeah, he was that much of a dumbass.) Long story short, we lost the DVD. Naturally, he didn’t want to explain it to the Bar/Bri people. But we did. Okay, I did. And they told me that they couldn’t find a spare one in time. They tape them live, and the other copies were all being shuffled around the state. We would just have to go without.

That’s right. Thanks to Mr. Press Play, we missed our last tape. Not that it was anything import. Just a review of Contracts. All of it. I’m sure that won’t be on the bar.

Thanks, Mr. Press Play.

Jackass.

Image cartoon courtesy of Courtoons.net.

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  • Guano

    We had a similar experience with a dumb woman with a hyspanic accent that looked like a shopworn double for Selma Hyack.  She couldn’t get it right, other than the fact she wore hot haltertops and microminiskirts with maybe a thong underneath.  She might have been the best looking lawyer in training.  I dont think she passed the bar, though she managed to raise the bar with us at that class.

  • BL1Y

    This sounds better than my experiences in any of my law school classes.

  • Anonymous

    bar review is hell, no matter how you slice it.

  • BL1Y

    Bar review is a month of vacation followed by a month of studying 8 hours a day.  If that’s your idea of hell, you’re a wuss.

  • Magic Circle Jerk

    I agree with BL1Y here.

    Bar review is a joke compared to practice.  I look fondly on that summer after 3L year, as I had no SA gig or other summer job to distract me from fun.
    Let’s review how to pass the bar:

    May- graduate, vacation, drinking

    June- go to barbri classes, go play in sun, drinking

    July- after the 4th, stop drinking, make outlines based on barbri outlines, study for 10hrs a day tops

    = pass with flying colors

  • BL4Y

    Bar review and practice are both hell. But at least you get paid to practice. I’ll take practice.

  • BL1Y

    Practice isn’t hell either.  You put on a suit, go to an office, read some documents, and maybe have some evenings and weekends ruined by socially inept tyrannical partners.  It sucks, but it’s not hell.

  • BL4Y

    Wait a few more years, BL1Y. You have much to learn, my friend.

  • BL1Y

    BL4Y: Was someone at the office mean to you?  Poor baby.

  • BL4Y

    Who said anything about mean? Like I said, I’ll take practice over bar review any day of the week. It’s all hell, but I do it for the pay check. Nothing more. But in reference to your earlier comment, BL1Y, all I was saying was that I’d like to hear your answer a few years from now. In my opinion, a first-year doesn’t have much to offer in terms of insight.

  • BL1Y

    BL4Y: Care to explain what makes it hell?  Long hours and awful coworkers would be hell if you’re working in a coal mine or as a member of a tank crew.  But you work in a law office in, I presume, a first world country.  Just what about your job is so awful that it’s hell?

  • BD22

    thanks for sharing.

  • Er, no.

    I’d go back to bar review without a second thought if I could.  No questions asked.

  • BL4Y

    Hell is supervising useless first-years and contract lawyers.

  • BL1Y

    It must be hell being such a wimp.

  • BL4Y

    No, just hell working with guys like you.

  • Hannah Palindrome

    BarBri Sucks!
    Pieper People Pass!!!

  • Bratt

    Bar review doesn’t suck.  Realizing how much your law professors didn’t teach you sucks.

  • Dillnod

    Get it all those W’s . remember like it was yesterday.

  • Bravo

    what is all this Bl1,2,3,4,etc.y?  We are all lawyers.  The bar review is a pain in the ass, but it is or was good for us.  Just be happy we passed the bar exam and move on.  Do any of you wish we would have specialized in a different area?  My secret desire was criminal law.

  • Hates Dummies

    Re: the last day, not sure how long ago this might have been but seeing as how every Barbri lecture is online and every law school I have been in has wireless it could have easily been played online from their website,Re: the rest of the course, if it’s supposed to suck is there a point to complaining.

  • Hannah Palindrome

    Bratt Wins!