Bitter News, 1-31-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

The woman who ran Eliot Spitzer‘s favorite call-girl ring got six months in prison.  A Manhattan federal judge lightened the sentence on Cecil (Katie) Suwal because of the “Svengali-like power Emperors Club VIP boss Mark Brener once had over the 24-year-old.” An indication being her label-her-like-sports-equipment “Property of Mark Brener” tramp stamp.  [New York Daily News]

Three legal-related questions to know the answer to before watching Sunday’s big game: 1) It’s now okay to watch it at church (and, I guess, the White House); 2) “Super Bowl” is a trademark term, and don’t you forget it, bitch; 3) Betting on the game could land you in jail, but who the hell cares?!  Everyone’s doing it.  [Chicago Tribune]

Madoff’s lawyer has other clients too, you know.  And one has been out on bail since 2006 for scamming $10 million from hedge-fund investors, but he won’t serve time until after he caters for celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck at the Academy Awards.  One final (dis)service to the rich before heading to the big house.  [New York Post]

Well, that woman had to get raped somewhere. Officials at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh are bummed out that author John Grisham picked their school for his lead lawyer character to attend undergrad…and be involved in an on-campus gang rape.  [Pittsburgh Post Gazette]

This year’s legal forecast is “extraordinarily bleak” with a slight chance of “wanting to hang yourself.” Feel-good king, Larry Bodine, sees “economic hell” on his 2009 Doppler radar.  []

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