Bitter News, 10-13-09

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, on the list of things more fun than reading Sarah Palin’s memoir:

• It’s rumored that Prince Harry and his lawyer are in bed together again…literally.  “Prince Harry and girlfriend Chelsy Davy gave the surest sign yet that they are back on when they were spotted out on the town over the weekend.” Davy is only turning 24 this week, but she is a junior lawyer. In fact, she’s a beautiful, blond, Zimbabwean, University of Leeds-educated lawyer with her own fansite, who works in BigLaw at Allen & Overy.  Their relationship has been off and on again and again, but we’ll see if a first-year associate can bypass making partner and work all they way up to British royal.  []

• Who hasn’t gotten caught up in the moment of a wedding reception and drunkenly tried to awkwardly shake their groove thing with a girl at a wedding?  It’s just part of the ritual.  (Examples here, here and here—in case you live in a wedding-less cave.) Well, if you’re James Graeber, you are worse at it than most—and maybe soon a lot poorer.  He’s being sued by Christine Mancision because when she attended the wedding of Graeber’s sister, he allegedly tried to dance with her and flung her off the dance floor, resulting in a broken wrist.  After surgery and months of rehab, she’s pissed.  So she’s suing not only Greber, but the Hyatt hotel where the reception was located for “allegedly violating New Jersey’s ‘dram shop’ law by serving Graeber booze even though he was ‘visibly intoxicated.’” Oh, and the groom was Mancision’s boyfriend’s boss.  Bet that’s not awkward for him at the office.  [The New York Post]

• Other than the “ick factor,” what’s so wrong and illegal about blackmail?  And what do Letterman and Citizen Kane have in common?  Legal profs weigh in on the conundrum.  [The New Yorker]

• “It’s about to get a little uncomfortable over at Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz and Shearman & Sterling–not to mention inside Bank of America. In a bombshell reversal, BofA’s board has voted to waive attorney-client privilege in ongoing federal and state investigations into its merger with Merrill Lynch, according to The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times.” Other firms involved in the shebang: Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton; Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr; Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison; and yo mamma.  [The Am Law Daily]

• About 250 U.S. clients of UBS and other foreign banks have til October 15 to decide whether they will reveal their offshore accounts and pay back taxes in order to avoid prosecution.  And dealing with clients’ emotional decision making is making lawyers batshit crazy.  Said Greenberg Traurig’s Barbara Kaplan, “With some, there are lots of tears. I tell them I can’t deal with their emotional issues relating to this. You have to talk to your therapist about that. I charge too much for that.” [Bloomberg]

• The Cubs may only be bankrupt for a day, thanks to swift legal maneuvering defter than any displayed on the field. [Chicago Tribune]

• Relationships with lawyers in the United Kingdom can’t all be as sexy as Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy.  Michael Karus, a lawyer who was sentenced to three-and-a-half years for stealing more than £400,000 from a dead woman’s estate, has a secret love child with a law student.  [The Daily Record]

• “Tap the Hidden Talent in Your Law Firm.” NOT like that. This article is about improving your practice, discovering your co-worker’s secret strengths, measuring it and celebrating.  Well, maybe it is like that.  No, just re-read it.  Definitely not about screwing a paralegal.  []

• Bernie Madoff is earning cred in the clink.  He whipped up on another senior citizen in prison after a scuffle over the stock market—and made him his bitch.  Apparently he learned how to pick his incarceration battles after paying a consultant for a “crash course in prison culture and survival tips before he was locked up.” He’s proven coldhearted enough to leave old people poor, so you know he’ll cut your ass.  [New York Post]

• OMG, this whole Christie Brinkley/Peter Cook divorce battle is still going on?  []

• Law students, your professors are on to you.  They know what you’re really typing in class.  And they want to be cool and hip, so look out—they’re coming for you via Facebook.  [Legal Writing Prof Blog]

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