Bitter News, 10-14-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views 1 Comment

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are sort of like “too fat” Ralph Lauren models:

• Sometimes in court, a great legal defense isn’t the best a man can get—a Gilette shave is.  The Shit, Shave and Shower Strangler, a man on trial for chocking a corrections officer to death, was allowed by a judge to clean up his appearance after his lawyer protested.  [Newsday]

• One would think that Birther attorney / dentist Orly Taitz would be firing up the root canal drill to start earning $20K to pay the fine she was sanctioned for frivolous suits on behalf of a soldier she’s representing in an effort to prove that Obama is not an American-born citizen. But her basic response?  Shove it. []

• Greg Lambert says he’ll see your graph and raise you a “bullshit?” He’s questioning recent coverage of layoffs and BigLaw hiring practices on sites like Above the Law and Law Shucks.  Are they “more hype than fact?” A quick analysis of the 800-pound gorilla. [3 Geeks and a Law Blog]

• Holla at me, working ladies.  Apparently you really do care about how you look.  [Reuters]

• When life gives you lawyer layoffs, make a blog.  It’s a hip trend these days for lawyers with extra free time due to deferments or getting canned.  Turn to the internet to create a new sense of whole—and solicit work.  Sometimes it’s short lived, like Big Debt, Small Law, and other times it’s to chronicle a journey, like these three BigLaw deferred associates blogging their way through a European adventure.  Jobless Lawyer’s site is about his post-layoff quest.  After getting the heave-ho from Latham & Watkins, he’s not afraid of a little Craigslist action to find work—despite having two Ivy League degrees.  Sort of sad, but the site has cartoons!  So that’s pretty happy.  [Legal Blog Watch]

• Putting the “Oh” in SCOTUS.  “Modern-Day Nazi Killer Disputes Death Sentence in Supreme Court” even though he heil-ed Hitler in front of his jury.  Justices are feeling badly for a defendant who got bad legal advice.  But are they really?  [Hitler = Courthouse News Service | Bad Advice = The New York Times]

• The entire lawyer recruiting system needs an overhaul—more like how doctors are placed in jobs.  Picking a new class of associates from people who’ve only been a law school for a year is inefficient.  Maybe after it’s transformed Obama will work on a socialized law movement.  [The American Lawyer]

• Guess what law student doesn’t have to worry about the crap job market for lawyers? French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s son Jean.  Yeah, his dad just went ahead an appointed the 23-year-old to be “chairman of the EPAD agency overseeing development in the Paris business area La Defense.” So no OCI’s necessary for him really.  []

• Two potential jurors knew exactly how to get out of jury duty.  They wrote “comments about ‘wrongdoing’ and ‘bending the rules’ by Wall Street [and] were rejected by a US judge yesterday for the trial of two former Bear Stearns hedge fund managers on fraud charges.” If you wrote “I <3 Wall St.” you were asked to stay.  [New York Post]

• A judge has approved an $11 million settlement in a class-action lawsuit over alleged wage violations by Wal-Mart.  As if you needed any more reasons to hate Wal-Mart.  The People Of WalMart site is pretty funny though, so I’m thankful for that.  [Chicago Tribune]

• Okay, okay—so the Living the Dream cast was a little out of tune. [Pitch Perfect: The Quest for Collegiate A Cappella Glory]

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    Looking good (or not terrible) at work is important… but a double edged sword.  If a woman isn’t ugly and dresses well, suddenly she’s prime fodder for unwanted attentions from the Turks.  Ugh, dis-gusting.  because you’re all so damn good looking!!! and clever!!! and…have the same (if not worse) resumes!!! 
    But if she dresses like a hag (or just out of jones ny, with pleats) she’s not taken seriously.  Almost like she….disappears. from ALL the radars, not just those of the “I’m looking for an easy and below-my-usual-standards lay” crowd.  But from people who might appreciate the work product enough to, oh, I dunno, give you a raise.
    Can you boys just keep it in your pants (and think with your real brain) for a few hours each day???