Bitter News, 10-2-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that won’t see U.S. summer games, but our kids may in 2116:

• Law students in England are being offered real jobs to simply be cyber-friendly and use Facebook, Twitter and other social media in an attempt to promote a new College of Law opening next year.  “@bitterlawyer RT: you know what place is awesome? Bristol University.” Maybe it’s something that 20% of those poor kids at Harvard could help with.  [Bristol 24-7]

• The Lone Star State will not givith, but it will maybe taketh away. A judge in Dallas ruled Thursday that a state court has the jurisdiction to hear a divorce suit by a gay couple who were married outside Texas, a state with a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.  But TX’s attorney general is appealing it.  Because you can’t acknowledge something when you don’t think even exists.  What’s next?  Divorcing Santa and Mrs. Clause?  [The Dallas Morning News]

• You’ve been able to keep your BigLaw job.  You’ve moved passed wishing you too would be fired.  You think everyone hates you.  You, as per usual, hate yourself.  Now what?  [Fulton County Daily Report]

• Lawyer wins $2.5 million in a class-action lawsuit on behalf of 800 people.  Lawyer squanders it down to $55,000 before most even received a dime.  “My bad,” says Sandeep Baweja.  [San Francisco Chronicle]

• We covered the seven types of women you have sex with in law school yesterday.  For the women, I’m sure you identified with a type that best suited you back in the day.  As for the men, you probably yelled out the numbers of those whom you’ve “experienced” like you’re ordering from a Chinese menu. But guess what: Law school benefits women in a more special way.  Even if they only use their legal training to change diapers the rest of their lives, education for education’s sake is very worth it.  [Desert News]

• Pop quiz: Where do you file a complaint if a client slips and falls in a tribal casino?  What if there’s a vehicle accident on the rez?  The State Bar of Arizona is petitioning to have American Indian law added to the state bar exam since Indian issues are to AZ as oil is to TX. [Turtle Talk]

• You make one off-color Facebook group, and you suddenly have an emotionally distressed victim. “Facebook Inc., the world’s most popular social-networking Web site, was accused in a lawsuit of letting site users post violent threats against a lawyer who was later disbarred.” Which explains the “Roman Polanski is adorable” page.  [Bloomberg]

• Further proof that the easiest way to build respect as a trial lawyer is to have that nasty-confident swagger.  And to be wearing a three-piece suit.  Cuz you a baller lawyer….  Or a career prisoner.  Which is it?  [The New York Times | Lowering the Bar]

• Judge orders the Justice Department to release interviews with former VP Cheney conducted during the Valerie Plame leak?  Snoozefest.  Judge considers life sentence for the father of a tattooed seven-year-old?  Now you have a story.  Is holding your kid down and inking him up with your gang’s symbol permanent and painful disfigurement just a misdemeanor?  Or aggravated mayhem?  Admit it, aggravated mayhem sounds more badass.  [Huffington Post]

Update: “Two Bulldog gang members accused of tattooing a 7-year-old boy in Fresno received a huge legal break on Friday, when a judge dismissed the charge that could have put them in prison for life.” []

• Law firms are getting their merge on. 13 in the third quarter alone.  [Boston Business Journal]

• Gather ‘round, boys and girls.  Uncle Dave (Letterman) has a little story to share with you.  And it’s about how he’s willing to man up and deal with a situation directly.  With sitcom-like laughter coming from the audience at the end of almost every sentence, David Letterman reveled to the world in an on-air mea culpa that a man was attempting to extort $2 million from him in return for the man not revealing in a screenplay he was writing that Letterman had slept with several female staff members.  Though I think I would have probably liked to see that movie, Dave went and busted the blackmailer.  Ode to the New York Special Prosecution Bureau and the Manhattan DA’s office.  [Entertainment Weekly]

Update: The man arrested for the attempted extortion is Robert “Joe” Halderman, a 20-year veteran of CBS news and a producer of 48 Hours[New York Daily News]


    education for education’s sake barely worked when I was 8 and was reallly wanting to get out of bridge to terabithia land.
    So glad the LDSs think we’re worthy of gettin’ our learn on.  Does god guarantee sallie mae loans?

  • Anonymous

    It’s “Deseret” not “Desert”. Know your enemy, I say.