Bitter News, 10-7-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as split between the relative and the absolute as Guy Ritchie:

• It’s like a legal headline Mad Lib: Jesse James, a 24-year-old law school student, may run in an Indiana House race next year, which would face him off against Republican incumbent Bruce Borders, a longtime Elvis Presley impersonator. How will it turn out?  Who knows—apparently you can’t trust polling data anyway.  [Indiana News Center]

• The b-word, c-word and f-word are, I guess, sort of inappropriate to use around the office.  They’re harassing.  Maybe.  A judge is still thinking about it.  [Fulton County Daily Report]

• Oops—that whole cameras in the courtroom thing didn’t work out for Illinois federal judge Joe Billy McDade, who had to apologize to his chief judge for violating a ban by bringing in lenses and lights.  At this point, court artist renderer is still a recession-proof job.  [Chicago Tribune]

• A BigLaw game of chicken is happening to see which firm will drop starting salaries below $160K and then go trick-or-recruiting.  (Eventually, they all drive over the cliff.) [WSJ Law Blog]

• “Human Sacrifice Channel.” Cockfighting.  Out-of-season arrows.  Bullfights.  Pâté de foie gras.  Free speech.  And SCOTUS.  Oh, my.  [The New York Times]

• Obama has seen his Chin, and he wants his Chin higher and mightier.  [Angry Asian Man]

• Lawyer attack!  Top Australian attorney Alex Lewenberg was assaulted in his home yesterday and suffered “serious facial injuries.” The offender fled the scene, and a search for the suspect has begun, based on a police description that sounds suspiciously like Hugh Jackman.  Unfortunately, this isn’t Lewenberg’s first attack.  He was beaten with a baseball bat in his office in 2006.  [The Age]

• Initially excited about the title “A Happy Ending,” we then realized it was followed by “to the $50K Question, Should I Solo Now?” Certainly less interesting than we originally thought, but you still may care about it.  []

• A man follows women around Target and takes video of their asses, but he isn’t breaking the law because the women are in a place where there is no expectation of privacy.  And get this: Most Target shoppers aren’t familiar with voyeurism statues.  Who’d a thought?  [ via’s FloriDUH]

• For the love of vodka: “A Moscow court on Tuesday ruled against two lesbians seeking to become Russia’s first legally married gay couple.” [Chicago Tribune]

• “According to a survey conducted by Kaplan Test Prep and Admissions, 61 percent of law school admissions officers representing 152 law schools across the country said internships and job experience in the legal profession do not necessarily improve the chance of admittance to law school.” A pre-law legal gig would only confuse you when you learn nothing about what you’ll actually do in a law firm anyway.  [The Badger Herald]

• One of 15 cases against former judge Herman Thomas was dropped today.  Mainly because the prisoner filing the suit against Thomas has suddenly changed his story.  Thomas is accused of fellating and being fellated by male prisoners in exchange for lesser sentences.  (Oh, that former judge Thomas!) Let’s go to the video, shall we?  Holy South.  [] News

  • Lady lawyer

    I am not one for the c or f word.  Maybe f word once in a while but not everything being “f” like you hear in the movie films.

  • Anonymous

    There is no ass hot enough to videotape inside a Target