Bitter News, 10-8-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as we buff up for our Playgirl shoot like Levi Johnston:

• It’s the dbag blind leading the dbag blind out there.  Linsday Lohan’s father, Michael Lohan, is apparently besties now with Jon Gosselin, father of eight future Lindsays.  Supportive friend Michael helps keep his name in print by telling the media that all of Jon’s divorce problems with his estranged wife Kate (see her legally unrelated HS yearbook pics here) can be blamed on bad legal advice.  Dad’s of the year have to stick together.  (But he may have a point.  Jon’s counsel is Mark Heller, who’s been suspended before and accompanied his star client on The Insider this week with Nancy Grace, where she ripped him a new one.) []

• “Tell me about a time….[that I don’t really care about but want to hear you ramble on so I can judge you.]” Given the few number of highly desired BigLaw spots, wannabe associates should be prepared to be grilled and burned while in the interview hotseat.  More senior people are showing up on the hiring side of the table.  And they want to know everything.  “What do you mean you didn’t exactly get in? Gulp.  [ABA Journal]

• We touched on this, but we’re not nearly as pretty as Lindsey O’Neill, so we’ll let her explain blackmail and Letterman’s lesson to be learned.  Meanwhile, here are 10 more crazy extortion plots inflicted upon celebs.  [The Business Insider Law Review]

• Here we grow again.  Midsize firms are seeing this as a great time to expand and try to be BigLaw 2.0.  Meanwhile, states continue to dilute the legal pool by opening new law schools.  Tennessee will welcome it’s sixth law school at Belmont University in 2011.  [The National Law Journal |]

• With all this social media kerfuffle, who’s looking out for the law librarians?  They’re crying out for law library social media policies.  And if only Mark Cuban and Courtney Love gave a shit about what law librarians had to say.  Cuz if they did, they may have avoided their Twitter antics and each be less one lawsuit.  Or, for Courtney, not as much in a Hole.  (Har har.) [Law Librarian Blog]

• The Brooke Astor trial finally ground to a long-overdue halt, and it stopped with Astor’s son and “lawyer pal” being found guilty.  [New York Daily News]

• Much needed investment tips, brought to you by your financial authority: Gwyneth Paltrow.  How sweet.  [ via The Business Insider]

• Famous Harvard law professor and defense lawyer Alan Dershowitz is getting a little bonding time in with his brother as they both are representing an appeal for Dr. Mazoltuv Borukhova, a New York doctor convicted of murdering her husband.  [New York Post]

• I have no idea who “KiEFeR” is and what he’s all about, but the name of his blog speaks volumes.  [When BigLaw Gives You Lemons Make Lemonellio]

• The Philadelphia Phillies responded to a lawsuit from a girl’s family by returning the landmark 200th home run ball hit by Ryan Howard that the 12-year-old fan caught in Miami.  Maybe that will make her shut the hell up.  Gawd.  Kids these days.  []

• Speaking of kids, they do a lot of experimentation.  Sometimes it’s a fun phase with their sexuality in college, other times it’s with drugs.  The new drug the kids are doing nowadays is a hallucinogenic called Salvia, and, except for in 14 states, it’s legal and sans age limit to buy. []

  • Lady lawyer

    Humorous and informative.  Just thinking of Gwen makes me sick.