Bitter News, 2-16-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views

Quick Presidents’ Day headlines from the Bitter Newsroom—because it’s not like you’re busy because you got invited to Fashion Week:

Lawyer, lawyer, strong and able, get your elbows off the goddamn table. Law students attend a much-needed etiquette seminar so they don’t get fired because they “stabbed that tomato and squirted juice in a senior partner’s eye.” If I had a nickel… [Kansas City Star]

“Associate clocks the millionth hour for the year…and gets the rest of the evening off.” …Partners with confetti!  …And last year’s honor was billed from the women’s bathroom!  The cRaZy life!  []

Arrrrrr they going to be convicted of violating copyright law?  File-sharing site Pirate Bay walks the plank at their new trial in Sweden.  [Fox News]

Things are bigger in Texas.  Like UT’s law school dean Lawrence Sager’s salary.  $365,000.  How do you like those apples?  []

Trying to make yourself feel better about being laid off by thinking you’re just a victim of the economy?  That’s nice, but maybe you just weren’t good enough because your old firm is probably still hiring.  Firing associates and hiring laterals at the same time improves profitability.  [Crain’s Chicago Business]

Lawyers are licking their chops thinking about all of the fraudster prosecution action available over at the SEC if it were more like the CIA.  Waterboarding investment bankers, anyone?  []

Elephants never forget?  Ken Starr told lawyers that Obama’s opposition of Justices Alitio and Roberts could come back to bite him.  [The Washington Times]

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