Bitter News, 2-5-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, so take a Tylenol already and relax:

The maddening of Madoff is the order of the day as more and more is revealed about the reverberating effects (and possible prevention?) of his investing scandal…

— Madoff’s vic list dropped it like it was a hot party guest list last night.  Captains of all industries have apparently lost bread.  Bernie’s even nice enough of an old man to make sure his own sons and lawyer got a shout-out.  [The New York Times | Reuters]

— A whistleblower tried to warn the SEC years ago but says they were too afraid to go after him.  And for his next trick: He’s got a mini-Madoff up his sleeve.  [CNN Money | Reuters]

— Lessons from history indicate that the next Ponzi scheme might be worth avoiding.  [Fox Forum]

— Assuming his Ponzi scheme didn’t afford Madof good dental coverage, Jane Fonda wants to shake him till he teeth fall out.  [Fox News]

— And investing with Madoff prompted a Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison partner to sue for a re-do his divorce settlement he claims unfairly allowed her to “to retain her asymmetrically large portion of the parties’ true assets.” Might as well just ask for her kidney while he’s at it.  [New York Daily News]

Could Christian Bale be sued for verbal abuse?  That depends on if them’s were fightin’ words.  “For Bale to be found liable in a civil suit, the plaintiff would first have to establish that the actor’s words could easily have led to blows.” And how often have you heard of bitch actors actually tussling in real life?  Honestly.  []

They’re not going to be life partners.  Clifford Chance is cutting partners and restructuring for the future.  [Legal Week]

How many more precious Columbian mammoths must die before we realize we don’t need any more law schools?  The humanity!  [Mercury News]

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