Bitter News, 2-6-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, so stop writing your “25 Things” and pay attention:

Sex it.  Charge it.  Expense it!  An ex-hedge fund manager-turned-madam of Wall Street’s most expensive escort service is pissed that she got busted, but the DA has no interest in any of her nearly 10,000 high-power clients—including a Cravath partner—who charged sexy time to the company dime.  [ABC News]

867-5309-ee-ine.  The arbitrary phone number made famous by the 80’s Tommy Tutone pop song is undergoing an NJ/NY bidding war.  And an incredulous New York lawyer wants everyone to stop bidding on the Jersey number and buy his 212 version—because non-existent Jenny (um, per him) is a classy city girl and doesn’t have big Jersey hair.  [The New York Times]

Before anyone can even say the word “cancer,” a whole list of left-wing minority replacements is drawn up to take RBG’s SCOTUS seat.  Wipe the drool, Obama.  Here’s to hoping Ginsburg forces pundits to continue speculating for some time to come.  Maybe “Justice Nasty” can bully her back to health.  [Associated Press]

Does anyone else feel like being confined to Dreier’s luxury apartment sounds like a five-star vacation right now?  That’s one Snuggie away from being recipe for total R&R.  [The New York Times]

Get out of town!  Get the hell out of your gosh-darn, Li’l Abner Appalachian State town! Congrats to Christian Kucab who scored a perfect LSAT 180.  []

Members of a Seattle law firm finally got the bonuses they deserve.  It’s called winning the $6.8 million lottery jackpot.  Suck it, partners.  []

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