Bitter News, 3-11-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom so good you’ll forget to extinguish your cigarette: 

We’ve established the BigLaw model is broken, so the LSAT is likely a little unhip these days too.  Professors at UC, Berkeley claim to have created a better, more encompassing measure of one’s lawyer potential.  It’s all about what qualities are best-est in a lawyer, what types of lawyers are the dreamiest and assorted hypothetical situations.  And instead of being a half-day exam, it’s administered as a slumber party in your friend’s basement using a series of “Would you rather…” questions and “I never…” statements.  First one to fall asleep gets their face written on with a Sharpie—and low score.  [The New York Times]

Talk of a new LSAT begs the question: Why can’t it be a video game?  Objection!: The Game Series exists.  Speed and aptitude are put to the test.  It’s practically the Zelda of CLE courses.  I bet Microsoft is fuming pissed they didn’t rip this one off.  [Washington Post]

For his next trick, Bernie will do the expected.  Represented by an attorney some wish perished in a Nazi death camp, Madoff will plead guilty tomorrow to mismanaging a dollar here and there—reportedly sans plea deal.  Could that be enough to keep his wife, sons and brother from being potential cellmates?  [Bloomberg]

Lawrence DeBello: New Jersey Superior Court Lothario.  The judge has been charged with romantically and electronically woo-ing a former law clerk.  [The National Law Journal]

Don’t screw with the lords of jury duty.  Take it from potentially “the first California lawyer ever disbarred for misbehaving while serving as a juror.” [Corporate Legal Times]

No one should tell you that “Great Lawyering” can’t be learned in a book.  Even if Oprah doesn’t endorse it. [MSNBC]

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