Bitter News, 3-13-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are guaranteed not go to into a 6th overtime:

So, you’re Anna Nicole.  And your trusty lawyer gives you pills.  And you essentially die from those pills, but it takes years to go by before anyone figures it out.  Then you posthumously wonder how in the hell your lawyer got prescribed all those damn pills.  AG Jerry Brown is on your asses now, doctors.  (And Octo-mom’s doc breathes a little sigh of relief for getting out of the spotlight for a smidge.) [E! Online]

Ira Sorkin is rubbing his magic genie lamp to get Bernstar sprung from the big house so he can go back…to his big house.  [New York Daily News]

The dean of the Massachusetts School of Law is one of the “little people” in the Madoff debacle.  [NYT DealBook]

Families of those killed in 9/11, on average, were better compensated if they sued instead of accepting the government’s payout.  It highlights a study on why people chose to sue or not sue.  Is it about money, or is it about feeling accountability and change?  Can change in America only happen if threatened with having to pay huge settlements?  Hate to say it, but I bet that drycleaner hasn’t lost a pair of pants since.  And that’s change we can believe in.  [The New York Times]

When it comes to Hulks, I’m not sure why everyone thinks Bitter Temp Guy made it up.  A real Hulk (Hogan) goes WWF on his wife’s lawyer.  []

“Republican Norm Coleman has failed to prove his case that enough errors occurred in the U.S. Senate election recount for him to overcome Democrat Al Franken’s narrow lead, a Franken attorney argued this morning in closing arguments in the recount trial.” I think you get purple when you mix almost equal parts red and blue state.  This whole thing is very purple.  [Star Tribune]

SIKE!  [The Onion]

The death march of Jim Cramer: Time to unroll the sleeves—a follow-up from yesterday: