Bitter News, 3-16-09

Good morning, unless you’re Lindsay Lohan—here are the quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

“One of the things that Congress and the Administration knows but do not want to admit in public is that bailouts are messy affairs where most of what is planned does not work and one of the unintended consequences is that the process of salvaging large institutions is rarely fair.” AIG = outrage.  Apparently lawmakers are trying.  But clear the aisle for populist backlash anyway.  [Time]

An imperative issue close to the hearts of feminist law profs everywhere: Does your flash drive look like a tampon?  Err… For your data flow?  [Feminist Law Professors]

One week ago today was the blackest day of law firm layoffs we’ve seen, which doesn’t even account for the stealth movement.  And the bloodbath continues as partners enter the fray—like the 66 at Dewey & LeBoeuf who “have seen their compensation reduced by as much as 80 percent.” Seems ripe for a revolt?  Cue the revolt.  A surge of retaliation by the bitterest of those chopped is building momentum.  People don’t say lawyers are “poor businesspeople” for no reason.  []

SCO-Pak is getting back its chief justice.  [BBC]

Twitter may be winning victories in court by reporters, but jurors?  Not so much.  Tweets from “Juror Jonathan” from the box may lead to a $12.6-million mistrial.  [New York Daily News]

Bitter Lawyer loves a sex column.  So a round of hat tips to Legal Blog Watch and other legal blogers who bring us to Big Sky country where Bess Davis is no virgin, but has she honed her craft enough to be a columnist-worthy sexpert?  A local ASSISTANT law professor, Kristen Juras, is pissy about the existence of Bess’ column.  She demands standards.  Or something.  Here’s where commenters can chime in about Juras’ likely personal need to be loved by a man.  [Montana Kaimin]

A quick CLE lesson from a legal faculty member of the University of Phoenix: Policemen and judges don’t go to jail for traffic violations.  He’s representing a groom who spent his wedding night drying out in jail.  []

Tomorrow is St. Patty’s day, so get in the mood with an Erin-Go-Bragh mug shot roundup. [The Smoking Gun]