Bitter News, 3-19-09

Quick last-day-of-winter headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are still chilling:

What do Bernie Madoff and Johnny Depp have in common?  They’rrrr both pirates on the syllabus of “Intensive Study of a Culture: Pirates,” the most popular course at the University of Chicago.  [Chicago Tribune]

Lawyer, meet Hooker.  Hooker, this is Lawyer.  Oh, I see you two already know each other…. The two professions cross paths again—this time in Houston.  An “upscale prostitution ring” that would literally verify prospective clients employment (and accepted PayPal) was uncovered—along with a client roster full of lawyers.  []

Law school: The ultimate economic shelter.  If you’re an undergraduate unsatisfied with your job prospects, defy logic and pay six figures to walk away three years later still unsatisfied with your job prospects.  So apply today.  Like everyone else.  []

AG Eric Holder says puff, puff, pass, glaucoma haver. The Justice Department has no plans to prosecute legal pot dispensaries.  [Los Angeles Times]

A suit by any other name…just isn’t potentially free.  Outfit in Jos. A Bank duds, and if your boss kicks you to the curb, no sweat.  You’ll get a refund and get to keep the suit.  Because nobody wants the clothes back that some loser lost his job in.  []

Aligned with Mia Farrow and Marla Maple’s divorce lawyer, a 36-year-old Swedish “countess” is splitting from her 67-year-old ex-CEO spouse.  And that prenup ain’t going to cut it because for her, $53,000 a week is merely a jumping-off point.  I mean, a girl’s gotta eat each week ($1,500)—and buy bling ($4,500)—and be transported ($8,700)—and get her hair did ($1,000). [MSNBC]

Incest and cellar condemning just got Josef Fritzl life, but it could get his lawyer death. Attorney Rudolf Mayer has been receiving threats since representing the psych ward wet dream.  []

Happy March Madness!  The usual expert who annually calculates the billions employers lose due to distractions from the tournament respectfully abstained this year—so as to not create more anxiety in an already-tense work environment these days.  But the ABA insists on pressing the issue and wants to know your bracket drain on the firm anyway, damn it!  Fess up!  [ABA Journal]

One sort-of big-deal lawyer shows you a bracket you can believe in: