Bitter News, 4-1-09

Congrats, you got into Harvard, so celebrate with some quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

The British public trusts you, lawyers!  They really trust you.  24% of those polled TRUST YOU.  Which is so much more than the combined 6% who trust bankers, journalists and politicians.  Also, jury duty can be hazardous to your mental health.  The ladies being especially fragile because they always have to make it all about them.  Discuss.  [Times Online]

Lawyer Corri Fetman is known for a few things—few of them are her deft legal skills.  She posed nude in Playboy in February 2008, subsequently wrote a lawyerly sex column for the Playboy website, posted her assets on a billboard encouraging divorce, and just yesterday filed a $4.5 million “gender violence” suit against her bread-and-butter Playboy, alleging her column was canceled after refusing a former exec’s advances.  She’s really doing this because “There may be other victims out there,” and it’s unknown how many faceless attorney/sex columnists out there don’t have a voice.  But it probably ranks up there.  Viva Cherie.  []

Soon to roam free like an Alaskan moose.  The Justice Department plans to drop all charges against former Sen. Ted Stevens.  [Los Angeles Times]

Maybe a deferred-start-date lawyer asked to work in the public sector can defend Texas billionaire R. Allen Stanford.  With all his assets seized by the court, he’s too strapped for counsel.  Or he can ask for a little non-hash cash from fellow Houstonite Glenn Marsh.  Either/or.  He has options.  [Bloomberg]

As of today, it’s more expensive than ever to live in California (practically 10% sales tax—schaweet!), but damn, it feels good to be a judge.  “Eighteen of California’s 58 counties give more than 800 superior court judges about $25 million a year in extra benefits on top of their $179,000 state salaries, even as they lay off employees and reduce services amid the recession.” Some even paid more than the SCOTUS chief justice.  [Associated Press]

Have you heard about that Obama nominee who paid their taxes?  We haven’t either.  [Wall Street Journal]

A shout-out to Erika Garcia, who represented jobless Bitter Lawyers everywhere at this year’s Unemployed Olympics.  [Time]

And given the day, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that we’ll be pulling no lame April Fools’ jokes this year; however, Cartman and the boys fall victim to an April Fools’ joke in an all-new episode of South Park titled, “Eat, Pray, Queef,” premiering tonight.  [Fox Business]

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