Bitter News, 4-24-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom with eight bedrooms and five baths, just like 12547 Lake Ave.:

[Ed. Note: Don’t forget you have until Sunday night (4/26) to enter our Administrative Professionals’ Luxury Bag Giveaway, so don’t be afraid to take a few minutes to be a hero.  Enter here.]

Law school graduation is approaching, commencement speakers are being announced (Gray Davis! Ben Stein!), and the feeling of finality and achievement after three years of mental and financial dedication is in the air.  As you and your mates are being addressed on that ceremonial day, you’ll hear a new arrangement of the same “seize the future” trite crap as those in your gowns heard the year before.  Because the one lewd nugget they won’t likely tell you but should is: You’re all fucked.  We don’t want to kill the rose-colored buzz, so we’ll let PhilaLawyer take it away.  He takes the words right out of our mouths.  [PhilaLawyer]

Associates from the “old days” will soon be talking about BigLaw as if they experienced the heyday of Studio 54.  Bonuses, soaring salaries, expensed imbibing, perks, flex time and three-ways with Mick and Bianca Jagger on a cocaine bender are all things of the past.  It’s about keeping your head down and dressing up on casual days in the modern era.  And listening to lore from fourth-years around the water cooler.  [The National Law Journal]

Babe Ruth’s bat boy is turning 100, and in the 87 years between his service for the Braves and his honorary bat boy status at the Red Sox/Yankees game on Saturday, Arthur Giddon was an HLS-trained lawyer.  Check him out as he walks slowly and carries a few big sticks.  [The New York Times]

The lawyers for Pirate Bay, the massive torrent site found guilty of online copyright piracy and given jail time plus a fine of over $3 mill, are calling the command to walk the plank a “farse” and demanding a retrial because the judge had a smidge of a conflict of interest that just surfaced: He was a member of two (2) Swedish copyright protection groups.  [DailyTech]

All the U.S. News pre-parties in anticipation of a third-place ranking must have gotten a little out of control at Stanford Law.  [Stanford News Service]

So, is this movement to put the dazed-and-deferred and sabbatical-taking lawyers of the private sector into the public works world really a good idea? Not only is it maybe a little less noble than advertised, but it’s also cramping the style of those who are dedicating their life to the career track.  Prada, meet oil.  Public service, this is my good friend, water.  [The Shark]

Where do broken hearts go?  Well, they might start by heading to court.  Love is now “a duty,” and, as always, a battlefield[The Blackbook Legal Blog]

The blood is running cold as Frank DiPascali may be the lynchpin who can lift the fog surrounding the Madoff investigation.  Bernie’s former chief deputy is trying to negotiate a plea deal that would “divulge his encyclopedic knowledge of Madoff’s scheme. And unlike his boss, DiPascali is willing to name names.” Guess what— it’s a bit of a family affair.  Apparently Peter Madoff, Bernie’s brother who’s a lawyer, was a driving force, and the number of those sharing the Madoff name doesn’t stop there, leaving many lawyers to issue vague statements on their behalf.  [CNN Money]

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