Bitter News, 4-9-09

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom harder to land than an invitation to the White House Seder:

What we have here is a failure to proofread.  A court fined a grammar-sloppy lawyer $500 for egregious typos in his filings—and even said he likely violates the rules of professional conduct.  Apparently those idiot judges couldn’t understand what “The attorney dictate final changes over the should of a secretary who then printed off an earlier draft and that mistake was not caught prior to signing the document” meant.  Dur!  Superstar if you do, damned if you don’t.  [Chicago Tribune]

Only ONE MORE DAY to get your Peeps diorama that honors the legal profession submitted! “Peeple’s Court.” “Law in Peepular Culture.” It’s so punny we can’t resist.  What will Bitter Lawyer be submitting?  Not a Peep.  [ABA Journal]

For perhaps the first time, the law has crossed paths with post-mortem sperm.  And, for the record, I really want have sex with Marisa Miller.  So, if I die, please make sure that gets taken care of, mom.  [Associated Press]

Mick Fleetwood has sued his lawyers over a $4.5 million legal fee Landslide. “This is for you, daddy.” [The American Lawyer]

Remember yesterday when Mr. Bitter told you to prepare to work ‘til your 70?  Well, try “work for 70 years” on for size. W. Jerome Offutt is still suing the knickers off people, and he’s 91.  []

Remember in high school (before the days of liability and endless injury suits that 86’d risky acrobatics) when the top of the cheerleader pyramid was usually the hottest, most desirable coed in school?  And the girls at the base were the beefy workhorses?  Sort of like the King Tuts (AKA equity partners) that sit at the tip of the BigLaw pyramid on the backs of associates and staff.  But after a bunch of spring-cleaning and shape-shifting, there may only be a cylinder left.  []

Prospective law school student?  Then why don’t you take a good read of this, go get drunk and the move on with your life and stop wasting our time with your hopeful questions.  [PhilaLawyer]

Firms itching to slash their salaries for first-years are in a game of chicken to see who veers first off the cliff and dreadfully announces their exposed financial weakness. [WSJ Law Blog]

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