Bitter News, 5-22-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that won’t snub you like kindergarteners at the White House:

• Tax Prof knows a little something about the German virgin who auctioned off her first time online for £8,800 in cash.  Not because he bid, but because he knows that after Germany’s 50% prostitution tax and a possible VAT of 19%, her purity may only net her £3,000 after it’s all said and (she’s been) done.  [TaxProf Blog]

• A Seventh Circuit Bar Association meeting this week became a bit of a group therapy session for judges dealing with their struggles to not ogle the female lawyer talent who dress too provocatively when arguing before them.  Passing off the low-cut/short mini wardrobe apparel as a “cultural issue,” the judges couldn’t help admitting how women in club clothes can be a little exciting—and the male lawyers with Father’s Day ties are total flurges.  [The National Law Journal]

• Just because you were a small fish in the ocean, does that mean you know anything about ruling the pond?  The enticement of defecting from the white shoes for a reclaimed life of hanging your own shingle has a lot of lawyers wanting to dip their toe.  But don’t expect to hang on to your old clients and salary.  [The American Lawyer]

• Nothing like your #1 law school competition practically asking you to hold her trophy while she kisses your boyfriend.  Second place is first-place loser.  The bitter pill of a professor’s high praise mixed with the defeat of not being “the chosen one,” can put you in the wrong mindset—and the wrong courtroom.  [The Namby Pamby]

• Yankee Court isn’t the Civil War reenactment your imagining.  Would you believe Derek Jeter, Johnny Damon and A.J. Burnett male bond over a traditional sideshow moot session?  Err… [The New York Times]

• Red alert: Country clubs—historic mahogany lawyer oases—are in jeopardy.  CCs are finding it hard to sustain themselves without enough rich-people members to keep private. Some are opening areas like their dining rooms to the public, taking the CC “from chichi to Chi-Chi’s.” [Washington Post]

• A judge’s ruling that Sarah Palin’s emails were a matter of public record could get the Tennessee college student charged with hacking into the Alaska governor’s e-mail account last year off the hook.  Yahoooooooo! [Wired]

• Electricity deregulation hasn’t so much worked out as planned.  The plague of soaring prices and rolling blackouts are a result of energy companies working a PR and insulating self-interest game.  Is BigLaw partially to blame?  According to Ralph Nader, PG&E has spread “large amounts of money around to the big law firms, so there’s no major firm that can take on PG&E. Then they enlist the political power of these law firms to press their agenda.” Lawyers are entirely responsible for the energy crisis.  Spread the word.  [Center for Media and Democracy]

• Listen, lawyers, being rich and successful sucks.  Big time.  Don’t chase the quan.  Enrich yourself with public service.  Again: being rich sucks.  []

• To Col. John Kolb, National Guard Director and practicing attorney—and all military veterans and servicemen/women—we thank you for your service.  A good Memorial Day weekend to all.  [St. Cloud Times]

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    Mr. Pres, your people made the children cry and sent them away