Bitter News, 5-29-09

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom—a place as sought-after and fictitious as The Eager Beaver:

• Just as everyone is pushed by the corporate- and media-fed compulsion to Tweet their f**king brains out, a storm front moved in after Today’s weatherman Al Roker was busted for taking pictures in the jury lounge with his iPhone and posting them on his Twitter account during his obligatory report to jury duty.  His moonlighting as a Twitterazzi didn’t go over well.  Of course he was just trying to “share the experience of jury duty” and exemplify how it’s mandatory for everyone.  He has since followed up on his Twitter page with such Matt Lauer-second-fiddle sass as “Throw the book at me” and “I bet you’re petite”—errrrrr?  At least it’s more interesting than his usual “It will also be cooler than normal from the Great Lakes into the S.Plains…highs about 5-10 degrees below normal” posts.  And don’t forget to follow us @bitterlawyer, K?  Because we’re perfect and never do anything stupid on social media sites.  [New York Daily News]

• Phil Spector was sentenced today to at least 19 years for his murder charge.  And for being a Reuters news item, it has a lot of fun slights written in.  The victim, Lana Clarkson, wasn’t simply an actress; she was a “B-movie actress.” And she wasn’t just shot by Spector in his home; she took a “shot to the mouth, fired from Spector’s gun in the foyer of his mock castle.” Ouch.  [Reuters]

• It’s a new game of “Which Judge Said This?” You chose whether Judge Sotomayor or one of the Supremes said a particular quote. Example: “Whether born from experience or inherent physiological or cultural differences our gender and national origins may and will make a difference in our judging.” Was that Sonia Sotomayor or Samuel Alito?  Or should we say Sara Ramirez or Danny DeVito[]

• Did you know the government maybe broke the constitution and support religion when it bailed out AIG?  Not for all the “Jesus Christ” frustrating expletives—because AIG has ties to Islam.  And a U.S. District Judge thinks the man who’s suing may have a point.  [Associated Press]

• A home bible study of 15 people is being called an “unlawful use of land” by San Diego County.  A county apparently unaware that someone got the first and fourteenth amendments in writing[KGTV San Diego]

• Hastings law school just got snorted up by the Anteaters?  With a severely hemorrhaging budget, the state of California my revoke Hastings’ annual $10 million, leaving them with nearly a $9,000 annual tuition increases per student.  Meanwhile, UC Irvine’s new state-supported law school is in its first year and cruising along.  Guess that 39 ranking doesn’t get you far.  Then again, they also just canceled summer school in Los Angeles, so maybe law schools got to give.  You’re taking the loans anyway, right?  And kids gotta learn to read.  [The Shark]

• Does your law firm have a new CMO?  Throw his zero-credibility ass a welcome party.  [The Legal Watercooler]

Milton, as a law firm associate.  [Litination]

• The race card is getting played.  Hard.  Sotomayor is “nasty, angry” and the “Latino KKK.” Which means everyone is going to see T-Bone and taking the Hispanic College Quiz.  And liking it. Despite there being no jackpot.  [The Legal Line]

• Delaware: It’s not just for incorporating anymore.  Now it’s for sports betting too!  [Associated Press]

• You know that ballsy dude, Todd Davis, who gives you his social security number (457-55-5462) and begs you to try to hack his life?  Well, it may not be so by the book.  [Wired]

• The legal eagle fashion maven quandary: What jewelry should I wear to the office?  None.  You’re deadbeat ex-boyfriend probably gave it to you anyway.  Sell it all and move on.  [Corporette]

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