Bitter News, 6-16-09

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as nuanced as celebrity tranny hook-up guilt:

• Cristina “Brazil” Warthen, a Stanford Law grad who “pleaded guilty earlier this year to federal tax charges related to running an escort service” has been hung out to dry on her $313,000 prostitution tax tab by her soon-to-be-former internet mogul husband.  Shockingly, he filed for divorce days after she pled and now won’t be leaving the full amount she needs to pay off her government tax pimp on the bedside table as he leaves. [San Jose Mercury News]

• The first federal judge to go to the big house since 1991, Judge Samuel B. Kent started his 33-month [mental health] prison sentence for his “predatory sexual assaults on two federal courthouse employees.” Yet his refusal to be dethroned lets him continue to collect his $174K taxpayer salary.  Call it a defendant follow-up house call.  [Houston Chronicle]

• The perfect gift for any law firm partner to give that judge in his/her life: A free clerk.  Those floating in the ether in the deferred BigLaw vacuum have been approved to hustle for the courts in Massachusetts—at the expense of raining little biased, conflict-of-interest droplets throughout the court system.  “Volunteer interns” on law firm payrolls.  All good.  Until they tweet about it. [The Shark]

• Sotomayor “in a collegial way” as a 3L.  [The Ninth Justice]

• One of Sony Entertainment’s top lawyers told a court today that statutory damages of $150,000 per song would send a good message about the importance of not sharing.  [Ars Technica]

• Don’t allow yourself to be comforted by the fact that India bans foreign firms from practicing in their country. And maybe allow yourself to be a little discomforted by the fact that “[t]wo weeks before Clifford Chance said it would fire as many as 100 lawyers in London and New York, the world’s largest law firm by revenue announced an alliance with India’s AZB & Partners to expand operations there.” Offshoring to Asia is the “logical countertrend” to you. [Bloomberg]

• What the Judges Are Up to Lately:

—Judge Denny Chin has 100 letters from victims begging him to nuke Madoff in sentencing. [Dealbook]

—Judge Gerald Rosenberg ordered mothballs for the suit O.J. wore to his murder acquittal. [AP]
—GA Justice Leah Ward Sears said that teachers and students over 16 can sometimes get it on.  [AJC]
—Judge Jed Rakoff ruled that former AIG leader Greenberg’s speeches aren’t hearsay.  [Bloomberg]

—Judge Martin Stone ruled a disabled teenager guilty of killing his home wrecker. [Seattle Times]

—Judge Kristina Cook Connelly faces a complaint for bitchin’ out law enforcement. [AJC]
—Judge Jeffrey White said, “Yoo, it’s cool to sue.” [CBS]

—Chief Justice Margaret Marshall said rowdy defendants can lose their right to a lawyer. []

• What’s cooler: The “Ministry of Ink” tattoo bus or the “Project Salute” law firm Winnebago?  Both have so much to give.  [The National Law Journal]

• The ghost of fathers’ rights.  Coming in with the lowest-possible TechnoScore of 1, beam Schlissel onto courtroom background #143 please.  [TechnoLawyer]

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