Bitter News, 6-18-09

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Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as muddy-balled as the U.S. Open and “so money” like Tiger:

• Latham San Fran is approved to show off their posteriors with their ultra-hip new “all jeans all summer long” dress code, but the Michigan Supreme Court declared today that judges can force those in their courtrooms to show their face by removing customary head and face veils.  It’s easier on the brain when determining truth from bunk. [Detroit Free Press]

• It’s the final two-week countdown for the SCOTUS to get some s#!t done.  Last-minute housecleaning items include decisions on “politically charged movies, strip-searches of students and the rights of prisoners who say DNA will prove their innocence.” And RGB is gonna vacuum.  [Los Angeles Times]

• A Swedish impostor’s The Catcher in the Rye Part II has been temporarily restrained by a judge.  But there’s a bitter side for old-man Salinger.  [The Am Law Daily]

• “My Father, the First-Year Associate.” My daughter, my firm’s partner and the boss of me. ‘Nuf said.  [The Connecticut Law Tribune]

• The abrupt decline of my personal flannel and khaki purchases in the mid-90’s has led to the bottoming out of Eddie Bauer.  The outdoorsiest man you’ve never known (who the hell is he really?) filed for bankruptcy.  [The Wall Street Journal]

• It was this week in 1994 that The Juice made white Broncos infamous (no word of if it was an Eddie Bauer edition) by cruising down the highway in route to a life of trials and legal fees.  Fifteen years later, in a world more aware of Bruno Magli than ever, the attorney for “Simpson’s longtime nemesis Fred Goldman” is urging the Sheriff’s Department to auction off all OJ memorabilia to satisfy the $33.5 million wrongful-death judgment Goldman won, even though a judge already ordered that his ‘acquittal suit’ stay in storage.  [San Jose Mercury News]

• Speaking of memorabilia, Beyonce is whipping out her Sasha Fierce on merchandise pirates who hawk her booty.  If all were right in the world, people who liked her enough would put a ring on her official gear, but those bootleggers who peddle unofficial souvenirs outside her concerts are taking change out of her ocean-depth pockets and are the focus of her federal lawsuit filed in New York.  The problem is that she has no idea who she’s suing.  No names—just a genre of people—R&Beeotch anonymous street vendors. [TMZ]

• At least spinsters usually max out at only a couple cats.  But the woman who’s the Delta Burke of bunnies has been arrested a second time for a parole violation of her sentence banning her from owning animals for five years and not going within 100 yards of a rabbit after hording after hoarding and putting hundreds. [AP via]

• Too cranky and important to acknowledge a silly female peon’s existence.  Shameless flirt.  Unintentionally sexist.  Ode to a male lawyer.  [GC Observer @ myTMP]

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