Bitter News, 6-22-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views

It’s time for headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, but it’s been ‘A Time to Kill’ for 20 years:

• Which lawyer pulled the biggest dumba$$ move last week?

— 1. “A southern Indiana lawyer says he’s embarrassed and has apologized for being found asleep headfirst in neighbor’s trash can after a night of drinking.” Err…’nuf said.  [Chicago Tribune]

— 2. After a 40-proof breakfast, “a state district judge declared a mistrial in a murder case and ordered a defense attorney to reimburse Bowie County for jury costs after the attorney was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated on his way to court.” [AP via the Houston Chronicle]

— 3. Defense lawyer Adam J. Rodgers “threw a pen and his leather bag, pushed or hurled a chair, and raised a chair over his head, then slammed it down. Rodgers then stormed out of [the] courtroom, repeatedly screaming “Bull—-!” and yelling about the perceived injustice” after a judge initially refused to lower his client’s bail or change his sentence in a contempt case.  []

— 4. Then there’s Akin Blitz.  He’s the Portland attorney who stood up in court and showed a PowerPoint presentation on why he blamed his BMW for his 76-in-a-55 speeding ticket he got because of its “handling characteristics.” [The Daily Astorian]

— Regardless, the can all rest comfortably in the words of recalled California governor Gray Davis to law grads everywhere: Failure doesn’t mean the end.  (Even though sometimes it does.) [The Sacramento Bee]

• The country is getting a little less judge-y.  Non-lawyer judges are falling by the wayside to make room exclusively for legal scholars to take the bench. And the newest legal trend of the recession: Judges are getting laid off.  Five are being axed in Missouri for budget purposes.  AND Judge Sam Kent has finally been impeached so he can stop collecting his salary from prison.  [RecordOnline (Non-Lawyer Judges) | AP via Kansas City Star (Laid Off Judges) | WSJ Law Blog (Kent Impeached)]

• The nation is buzzing about their new 3GS iPhones while Silicon Valley is concerned with the new Tennessee liver that’s taken residence under the black mock-turtleneck of Steve Jobs.  But no one is really entitled to know Jobs’ medical and health ilife.  Apple is under no legal obligation to divulge details to investors. [Bloomberg]

• Your name is great, but your work sucks. A law firm is suing it’s founding namesake member to step away from the company but to leave his name behind. Plymale.  Who wouldn’t want that name? [The Columbus Dispatch]

• Not gonna lie, it’s kinda cool when the White House gives you an official shout out.  In a Friday press release sighting the republicans, legal community and academia who have voiced approval for Judge Sotomayor’s Supreme Court nomination, legal blogging’s own, Walter K. Olson, was quoted for his defense of how her record is being treated in the media. [Overlawyered]

• DA legal assistants may be comfortable not getting lawyers’ pay, but, for some reason, they don’t appreciate the lawyers they work with saying, “You’d be better off working in fast food.” They may want some fries to go with those feet in their mouths.  []

• We’re finally at that part in the recession where law firms can stop caring about what all the other law firms are thinking and start doing what’s right for them.  Follow their hearts.  It’s how BigLaw is gonna get it’s groove back.  [The Legal Intelligencer]

• A law firm sells seashells down by the seashore to make up for the $750,000 they had to pay to a client after botching a seafront property deal.  []

• “DePaul University FIRED one of the best law school deans that the law college ever had.” And it’s got itself stuck in the craw of blogging Profs.  [Legal Writing Prof Blog]

• “The lone surviving gunman behind the Mumbai terror attacks, Ajmal Amir Kasab, has been reprimanded by lawyers for laughing during the court proceedings, and recently a lawyer asked him to be serious.” Likely something to do with Brain Injury Awareness Month, so a happy one of those to you. []

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