Bitter News, 6-23-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, fitting in perfectly with how the “average man” spends his day:

• So, 2009 has obviously proved there isn’t enough room in BigLaw for everyone.  But in 2010, there literally may not be enough room.  Manhattan has some significant office leases coming up next year—20 million square feet just in Midtown.  Of those, which type of business appeared most on the list of the 10 biggest leases set to expire?  Hint: It’s not finance.  [New York Observer]
— Coming in at #2: Skadden (730,000 square feet coming due in July 2010)

— Coming in at #4: Cleary Gottlieb (530,000 square feet coming due in July 2010)

— Coming in at #5: Paul Weiss (440,000 square feet coming due August 2010)

— Coming in at #9: Orrick (240,000 square feet coming due in March 2010)

Silver lining?  Maybe some nice “Lost our lease” liquidation sales for furnishing for your new solo office.

• Like we pointed out yesterday, there seems to be a surplus of stories in the news lately with lawyers themselves, not their clients, as the butt of the headline.  In addition to Monday’s quartet of dumb-a$$ JDs (#2’s drunk-driving-in-the-AM lawyer the clear dumb-crappiest winner), here are a few more to add to the list:

— “Schaffer, 43, a Sunrise, Fla., lawyer who defends homeowners against foreclosure, is suing the maker of Zicam, claiming he lost his sense of smell after using its products to treat cold symptoms in June 2007.” [Boston Herald]

— “A UCLA-educated criminal defense lawyer has pleaded not guilty to federal charges of money laundering on behalf of the Mexican Mafia prison gang.” [AP via San Jose Mercury News]

• Madoff’s attorney is saying the court should just brush off that whole “mob vengeance” thing that’s been going on with those he defrauded out of $65 billion over two decades with his worldwide Ponzi scheme—12 years in prison should be sufficient.  After all, he feels really, really badly—and it’s only money, right?  Pah-leeze.  [Reuters]

• Law schools are so 2000-and-late in terms of law firm life in 3008. [The Am Law Daily]

• “Sexting:” So titillating.  So legally thorny.  [The Washington Times]

• “As a legal assistant, I have to deal with some very annoying attorneys.” (And I think here, here and here pretty well count as well-qualified examples.) Whaddaya do?  Try to win a handbag next year. [Boston Herald]

• Illinois Judge Warren Wolfson has been named the two-year acting dean of DePaul University law school following Dean Glen Weissenberger’s toss last week. “Several law school faculty members have publicly expressed their objections to Weissenberger’s ouster.” Surprisingly, none are how he’s old as f*&k at 76—for the (dean) club, not for the Earth. [Chicago Tribune]

• Speaking of old people, there’s a nice legal little niche waiting for lawyers who want to bring to justice those who rob and steal from the “physically weakened, emotionally vulnerable” elderly with a “vast pile of wealth.” Meaning they give you their money instead of having it taken by heartless thieves.  Ahem.  []

• What the Judges are Doing:

— Judge Roger Scott raged at council for busting a teen who littered a candy wrapper.  [Sun]

— Judge Redfield T. Baum will determine the Phoenix Coyotes’ auction block fate.  [Globe & Mail]

— Judge Tom Carney claims self defense for holding up a handgun in a driver dispute. []
— Judge Paul A. Crotty puffed smog all over NYC’s attempt to force taxicabs to go green. [AP]
— Judge Richard Leon order a Gitmo detainee to be a free-tainee. [Fox]

• A top-ranking lawyer helped salaries in his organization grow from $289,000 in 1983 to $3.24 million today for his associates who work hard at practicing and catch fouls. Donald Fehr isn’t managing partner of the golden BigLaw firm in the sky, he’s the executive director of the Major League Baseball Players Association, and the Missouri-Kansas City Law School grad is retiring.  [The New York Times]

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