Bitter News, 6-29-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as viral and web-only as a porn-addict beer commercial:

• Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. and the SCOTUS gang were gellin’ on their final week—now the last day of their “wacky” term.  And the flat refusal to take on the Cablevision case shows just how shoulder-to-shoulder they are.  [Chicago Tribune]

• And just when it looked like the band was doing well back together, it’s goodnight Justice David Souter.  He retires today.  [The New York Times]

• Close your eyes and imagine Latina-voiced Judge Sonia Sotomayor in front of a bunch of firefighters, getting overturned.  I know—sort of gritty.  The SCOTUS said promotion-less white firefighters were victims of illegal racial discrimination—opposite of Sonia’s previous ruling.  [Los Angeles Times]

• Bernie Madoff: Make an example out of him.  Judge Denny Chin couldn’t be more deadpan sending the Ponzi front man away for 150 years.  And for seeing-double-victim sister-in-law Joan Alpern Roman (undoubtedly to be played by Meg Ryan in the movie version), it’s 300 years.  Blog it to me live. [Bloomberg]

• After a Billboard weekend of riding the boogie and sharing that beat of love, Monday is no easier to avoid the Michael Jackson (AKA the new and improved Anna Nicole) medication/drugs/doctor’s-got-a-lawyer dustup that blowing all over.  In the meantime, they continue will hunting[E! Online]

• The acting general counsel at the CIA, John A. Rizzo, should do a joint retirement party with Souter (you know, to save tax dollars).  It’s a little-known fact, but he’s the man. “Despite what Hollywood might have you believe, you don’t call in the tough guys; you call in the lawyers.” And that meant calling him.  [Chicago Tribune]

Forget we mentioned it. “Former Latham partner gets 15 months for billing fraud.” [Am Law Daily]

• Can I get a little “Wha-Wha!” as we possibly add a new member to the TTT All-Stars list? “A public defender and University of South Dakota Law School (Tier 3, and a bargain at $9,620 per year) graduate is President Obama’s choice for an open federal judgeship in South Dakota.” [Argus Leader]

• No sooner has Steven P. Jobs returned to work that undoubtedly the first thing likely to cross his iDesk is a lawsuit form Daniel and Barbara Owens.  They claim that Apples uses “wrongful, illegal, improper and fraudulent acts” to sell iTunes gift cards since changing the pricing structure and selling some songs for $1.29.  Nothing says, “We’re cheap bastards and just want to rock out” quite like the names Daniel and Barbara Owens.  [CNET]

• Irene Daisy Williams, a.k.a. Treva Harte, is a former government lawyer who’s married to a lawyer, and she’s now expressing her erotic penchant for sex and werewolves.  The paranormal romance writer is, well, just that—a little suburban white woman living out her inner Stephanie Meyer[Washington Post]

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  • Bravo

    This one for you!  Bud Light is the choice of 25 to 30 age group.  Hope so, I have stock.