Bitter News, 6-3-09

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Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are hot, like a manatee orgy:

• While slumming it in couch, Justice Clarence Thomas made friends with two high school athletes sitting next to him on the plane.  They made a connection over Nebraska football, and from there things got bromanctic.  So inspired by the two youths, Thomas skipped a day of his usual, tired routine of setting national and staggering precedence on the Supreme Court and went to be the commencement speaker at their high school (video below). [NBC Washington]

• You like binging?  Getting binged.  Doin’ the bing thing.  Do you ever Google the word “bing?” If you haven’t caught onto Bing yet, (the big, splashy search engine from Microsoft) then get to know it!  However, their new video search method, while great for porn, might play a little “fast and loose” with fair use.  Which all culminates perfectly in the Bing Bong Brothers[Lawgarithms @ ZDNet]

• Phone lines are not for joking.  The bankruptcy judge on the GM case, Judge Robert Gerber, isn’t going to stand for quippy humor.  It’s all bid-ness and da time.  [ABA Journal]

• Miami-Dade prosecutor David Ranck faces battery charges after allegedly punching and knocking the “snazzy pizza delivery visor” off a woman trying to bring him a pie.  “It’s the second report of prosecutors gone wild in the past week. A Broward County prosecutor [David Braun] was arrested late last week for punching a cop in the back of the head during a barroom fight.” While it might be dumb pound on a cop’s head, at least he hit a dude.  Winner: Braun.  [NBC Miami]

• “The New York state legislature abused its power in not granting judicial raises for about ten years.” The 1,300 judges currently make $136,700 and will get a raise to reflect increases in the cost of living since 1998.  Rollin’ in it now.  [The Am Law Litigation Daily]

• Dewey & LeBoeuf is getting sued by a former client for $3 billion in damages over some “bad advice.” []

• As legal insiders get a big belly laugh at the preposterous leaked memos (recently here and here) written by law firm personnel ranging from secretaries to partners, doesn’t it make you wonder what the clients think when they read this stuff?  Are they in on the joke, or is their next step hitting up and finding less publicly mocked insanity elsewhere?  Because what if a Fortune 500 chief loves chest hairThat’s the risk being taken, people.  [Law and More]

• A “Why, God, why?” message about not making your law documents look crappy by choosing a jazzier font from a crappy-looking blog with a decidedly unjazzy font.  [Does It Compute?]

• Where does all the decent help go these days? Desiree McLoughlin cooked the law firm books to the tune of $80,000 in her favor.  []

• Adding to the recent list of those lost to aviation, activist lawyer Susan Jordan died in a small plane crash on Friday.  She was known for her involvement in the Patty Hearst trial.  With all the horrific disasters lately, why can’t it just be as easy as reading the simple steps to surviving a plane crash?  [Associated Press]

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