Bitter News, 7-17-09

[Ed. Note: Thanks for bearing with us during our tech glitch yesterday.]

Now for headlines from the Bitter Newsroom easily worth $23,148,855,308,184,500.00:

• A Seattle lawyer by the name of Neil Armstrong Dial earned his name by being born at the very minute the Apollo 11 spacecraft touched down on the moon’s surface at 1:17 p.m. on July 20, 1969.  Happy 40th to Armstrongs al due.  []

• BigLaw partners are maniacs.  And old dirty bastards.  (RIP.) And they could care less if BigLaw goes to sh!t.  As long as the PPP ain’t sufferin’ and they’re takin’ home mad payday, why not leave it to the kids to sort out the mess?  Godspeed, Generation Z.  []

• Would you like an AK-47 to go with your dumps like a truck, truck, truck?  The thought of not having those two-for deals in the future may be why gun rights groups are hating on SCOTUS nominee Judge Sotomayor.  Even though she didn’t really take on hot-button social issues like guns and abortion (and the hearing totally lacked a wow factor), it’s now being said that she might be voted in as early as July 29th. [Wall Street Journal]

• BigLaw hopefuls are getting kicked to the 2011 and 2010 curbs, so much so that even Harvard Law is telling the students become fishers of men—if they actually want a job in law and not economic powerlifting or government office humor. [Bloomberg]

• Meanwhile, current lawyers of the unemployment variety have turned to group therapy at the New York Bar Association.  [City Room @ NYT]

• You’re not defamed, so you’re dismissed!

—Trump’s “net worth” suit. It was against an author who wrote that he wasn’t all the golden.  [AP]
—A judge’s $10-million suit. It was against a lawyer who told the media he was a crap judge.  []

• Another Rod Blagojevich lawyer bites the dust.  Chicago lawyer Giel Stein is the latest to flee the former Gov’s defense team.  Maybe ol’ Blago Blago can talk about it on the radio radio. He’s going to serve as host of a two-hour AM talk show. [The Blago Blog @ Chicago Sun-Times]

[UPDATE 7/18] A new member of the Blago defense team is expected to be announced on Wednesday.  And that person can oversee the review of 3.5 million docs and hours of wiretaps.  [Chicago Tribune]

• A Utah attorney has been charged with two counts of forcible sexual abuse.  But really, what female teenager wouldn’t want this man kiss her breasts?  Funny how his firm website opens with the word “descret.” Looks like we’ll be watching Bradley Roylance, Esq. on the internet, for some time to come.  []

• Attorney Marc Dreier was sentenced to 20 years for bilking $700 million in a hedge fund swindle. That’s a year for every $35 million.  But a man who pleaded guilty to stealing 91 lobster tails (a market value of $1,275) artfully under his jacket from an Atlantic City casino kitchen was sentenced to four years in prison—a year for every $317.75 of shellfish. Getting’ tail doesn’t pay.  []

Join Bitter Lawyer on Facebook

Follow on TwitterMariah, Lindsay, Bitter Lawyer….

Buy Bitter Lawyer merchandise.

  • cool dude

    Problem with the judge who gave the kid 4 years needs some tail.  Hope the lobster bites him/her in the ass