Bitter News, 7-2-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are like a slice of American pie:

• The legal media will is no longer siding with you, laid-off law firm paperweights.  Your white-shoe carnage is the best thing to ever happen to BigLaw.  Your “I’m in debt” excuses are flimsy.  (Not that partners who ballyhoo about the billable hour are any better.  They reek of action-less malarkey.) The relationship simply wasn’t working out, and it was time for you to go.  So go.  Get gone.  And leave the lawyering to people who actually want to be soul-crushing lawyers.  You get none of our pity.  Tata.  [Dealbook @ NYT]

• And that’s not the only deathblow the The Times is reporting about lawyers.  Front and center today is the story of Robert Bowman—a 47-year-old JD who just passed the bar on his fourth attempt.  Not a great launching pad, but he certainly sounds dedicated.  Well… “In January, the committee of New York lawyers that reviews applications for admission to the bar interviewed Mr. Bowman, studied his history and the debt he had amassed, and called his persistence remarkable. It recommended his approval.  But a group of five state appellate judges decided this spring that his student loans were too big and his efforts to repay them too meager for him to be a lawyer.” Being Sallie Mae’s bitch to the tune of $400,000 (yep, five zeros) just seemed too suspect.  [The New York Times]

• If you’re going to be dinged from the legal profession, good for it to happen at phase one and not phase 400K later. The University of Miami School of Law had so many people enroll after they were accepted that the admissions people are telling them to shoo away for a year—and to really consider their motives in the process.  [The National Law Journal]

• While the more-real-life-than-human version of Michael Jackson makes its way to DC for a waxy sendoff, MJ’s entertainment lawyer John Branca (#1 on our list) proved to be one of the most stoic elements in the entertainer’s life.  And he’s now an executor of the will.  And in the thick of the mayhem still to come.  [New York Daily News]

• J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher In The Rye will remain a classic without sequel.  After a quick battle, a Swedish humor author’s 60-year flash-forward reprise of Holden Caulfield is banned form being sold in the United States.  [Boston Herald]

• Clifford “not a” Chance.  The leader firm reports PPP are down 37% and Skadden, Arps is now ruling as the world’s largest law firm by revenue. [Bloomberg]

• OCIs are may not harvest in the fall—reports are that they might bloom in spring instead.  With all the other topsy turvy of deferred start dates and decreased pay in BigLaw, pushing off the new recruits seems obvious.  [The Shark]

• Gettin’ while the gettin’ is probably best, indicted Texas financier R. Allen Stanford’s CFO, James M. Davis, has caught himself a plea deal in the accused Ponzi scheme.  Meanwhile, Al keeps livin’ on lockdown[The Boston Globe]

• “Marriage—that bwessed arrangement.  The dthream within a dthream.” Former Georgia Supreme Court Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears thinks the ease of walking away from marriage is degrading the culture of family.  And when a legal union dissolves, pre-nuptial agreements are usually the enforceable savior.  (Because you can’t really trust marriage counselors will save you.) Judges in the UK are finally standing up for the docs, even though they’re not that binding in Britain.  Because there’s no end to divorce in sight.  [Times Online]

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  • S. W.

    Wow!  What a blast to the legal profession.