Bitter News, 7-23-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that are badass like a jungle cat:

• Having the worst legal week ever: The hot dog.  First there’s the “They’ll kill you” literal legal wrap.  Then there’s the actual legal food chain.  We all know it’s eat or be eaten these days.  But when lawyers cut back and only eat a hot dog or sandwich sans drink—or worse, get fired from the firm, no longer in proximity to their local frankfurter dealers and watering holes, it affects more people than you think.  Law firm layoffs are eff-ing up business for street food vendors.  “Carts like 17th Street Falafel, between Market and Ludlow Streets, have seen customer flow tumble as the nearby law firms they serve continue to trim staff.” []

• Speaking of eats, a trial attorney wanted to use a study that looked at more than 2,700 people, cross-matching their personality types with their sandwich choices in voir dire.  [Chicago Tribune]

“Lawyer: ‘And what did you have for lunch yesterday?’

Potential juror: ‘Baloney sandwich with ketchup.’

Lawyer (disgusted tone): ‘This juror is excused.’”

• Are you ready for the rainy season?  Tort lawyers will continue their reputations as rainmakers when class action lawsuits against financial institutions kill us all as they start falling from the sky like pool tables in oak trees[]

• Our country is no stranger to power siblings.  For example: The Emanuel brothers.  Rahm and Zeke work for Barack as chief of staff and health-care expert respectively, and Bitter Lawyer interviewee Marc Korman works for Ari, the “super-agent” who runs the newly formed Hollywood juggernaut talent agency WME Entertainment.  Then in the legal realm you’ve got the Koh brothers.  “Harold Koh, former dean of Yale Law School and now legal adviser at the State Department, and Howard Koh, assistant secretary for health at the Department of Health and Human Services, both were confirmed by the Senate late last month.” But just remember, not all siblings are created equal.  Just ask Doug Pitt, Lupe Lopez or Joshua Alba about their “sad, sad” lives.  [Wall Street Journal]

• “Back to school” will be a lot less fun this year because of the ominous cloud already looming over semesters ahead.  As in, “I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do next summer.” Firms won’t be recruiting due to their arsenals of already-hired lawyers-in-waiting, and reports of canceled OCI appearances keeps trickling in.  Morgan Lewis has been a frontrunner in signaling “Armageddon,” and now law students can now spend another $40K to watch the end of days from the front row.  [The Am Law Daily]

• A scheduled NYU Law School visiting professor, Professor Li-ann Thio, has cancelled her visit because everyone’s pissed that she hates gay anal sex.  [The New York Times]

• A nice, shiny, new dictionary of American law to buy.  The Yale Biographical Dictionary of American Law (Yale Law Library Series in Legal History and Reference)—it’s legal porn for your law-reference horny eyes.  [The Washington Times]

• The Times Law 100 picked the “most powerful and influential in the law today.” But “unlike their US counterparts, business lawyers have a lower profile in Britain, as reflected in none making our Top 10.” Which means let’s get the US list cookin.’ [The Times Online]

• New Jersey is so busted.  Attorney Ralph Mara announced over 40 officials arrests for public corruption, money laundering, and KINDNEY TRAFFICING.  [WSJ Law Blog]


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