Bitter News, 7-28-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom that’ll make you scream like boiling water to the crotch at a Penn State party:

• Hollywood would be depraved of Scottish 300 star Gerard Butler had he not been fired from his law firm less than a year after getting his JD.  He drank his way through law school, yet was still president of the Law Society in Glasgow.  Then he aced a law firm interview high on “aids,” got the job, got canned and now practically has to beg people to believe that he isn’t having sex with Jennifer Anniston.  So, he’s definitely cooler than you.  And rest assured, a Bitter Lawyer interview is in the works.  [Esquire]

• Can Elizabeth Wurtzel call herself a lawyer?  And why the hell does it even matter?  She gives a statement regarding her references to her job title in our interview: “This is my understanding: if you graduate from law school/receive a JD, you are a lawyer; if you are licensed, you are an attorney. That’s what I’ve always been told.  Not too many nice things to say about the Bar Exam. Every year, some very gifted people fail it (Hillary Clinton, Kathleen Sullivan of Stanford Law School)—and every year, a lot of real idiots pass it. Hard to know what to make of that ; -)” [Gawker]

• Hey there, Sonia, do the hustle on down to the full Senate because the Judiciary Committee has approved you.  [Washington Post]

• Do your eyes bleed?  Do you cut yourself just to feel?  Do you eat your feelings?  Are you blowing yourself up in BigLaw and destroying your own career?  Here are the warning signs.  [The Snark]

• Breath in and smell the bar exam.  If you’re Sara Granda, the paralyzed law student who was petitioning the California Supreme Court to have her registration sorted, you’re thrilled to be allowed to take it today.  If you’re everyone else (bitching, moaning and forgetting how much better you have it than Sara), ask your mom to say a few prayers and bulls#!t your way through the answers.  Good luck.  [ABC News]

• Octomom lawyer in full effect. “A California judge appointed a lawyer Monday to oversee the estate of Nadya Suleman’s octuplets, saying he wanted to ensure they weren’t exploited by reality television shows, tabloid photo spreads or other paid ventures.” The bevy of kinder stand to earn $250,000 over a three year period of filming, which hardly seems like close to enough. [Chicago Tribune]

• Yesterday we mentioned a St. Louis judge who says a ticket he got from a red-light camera violates his constitutional rights, so he’s pushing ahead to a jury trial. Then today we read that the city of Fullerton, CA is spending $14,522.70 to re-try a $450 red-light camera ticket case in which they claim the judge deprived its right to due process. [The Truth About Cars]

• At a law firm, typos can make you.  Or typos can break you.  [The New York Post]

• Look at that girl with the Daisy Duke’s on. Bet she’s not going to the Bronx Supreme Court.  “Judge Joseph Dawson has had enough of the skimpy, casual attire worn by defendants in his courtroom.” All he’s asking for is a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  [New York Daily News]

• A lawyer who stands for bike messengers’ rights even thinks that one cyclist’s use of a U-Lock as a weapon to beat a man down was “plainly inappropriate, uncivilized and a criminal act.” Even in New York.  Who gets this stuff on video?  (Warning: The video is a little violent.) [Runnin’ Scared Blog]

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  • Bravo

    Happy they left the special needs person to take the bar